It's my birthday today. I got a sleep in this morning. I'm so grateful. It was exactly what I wanted on my birthday. Woke up to my 2 eldest children sitting at the foot of our bed like an old married couple, complaining that "it's 11 oclock, mum and dad won't wake up, we've got to make the cake and the sun is up". In actual fact, after checking the phone it was only 6:50am and the sun was nowhere to be seen because it was pissing down. They're so funny. Paul whisked themout of the room and I slept until 9am. It was bliss.

Spoke to my mum on the phone. She made me open my presents while I was talking to her. She gave me a gift card, amethyst earrings and pendant, gluten free baking cookbook and a collection of short stories because my concentration is so bad at the moment. They we're lovely. I'm very grateful.

My sister also got me a gift card and my in laws got me a book of inspirational quotes and some cash to go shopping with. My hubby and the kids bought me a beautiful yellow gold bangle made in 1910 with roses embossed all around it. It is so beautiful. I feel very special and pampered.

Hubby wants to take me shopping this arvo so I can go mad with all the gift card and money but Harry's not right today- I think he has conjunctivitis, and he has a fever. I want to take him to the dr.

My pop rang me- god it was wonderful to hear his voice. I miss him so much my heart literally aches. He's my only grandparent left. I love that he tells me he loves me. I don't know any other man (besides my hubby and eldest son) who says it so freely like he does. He's my little yoda (he's 4ft tall and Maltese) God I love him!

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So the afternoon turned into a bit of a disaster lol. It's okay, I just kept remembering over and over that it's out of my control and I can allow it to upset me or I can just go with the flow and not worry about it. That mantra seemed to work pretty well really. It definately helped the anxiety- I didn't get worked up and stressed out the way I usually do. I did feel a little disappointed but that's okay. I didn't feel like running away or ending my life over it.

So, my youngest got worse and we did take him to the doctor and got him medication. Then when we were on our way to get dinner (because hubby didn't want me to cook on my bday), our daughter wet herself and vomited everywhere with car sickness. So we had to come home and clean her up and the car up before we could get going again. By this point our eldest was losing it because he was so hungry. We tried finding this sushi place we wanted to eat at but after driving around hopelessly for 45 minutes with the kids whinging in the back, we gave up and got them McDonalds. Then my hubby got us food from the fish and chip shop but it made us both very ill- nausea and diarrhoea. It was fucking wonderful. We didn't get around to making a cake which didn't bother me at all but the kids weren't happy about it. We copped an ear lashing for that one! Finally after everything, we didn't get the kids in bed until 9pm. It was an exhausting, draining afternoon.

My sister called to say happy birthday but ended up whining for an hour about her shitty day with her daughter who wouldn't go down for a nap. I found it hard keeping up the right level of sympathy when I'd just had a birthday full of fevers, gammy eyes, runny noses, vomiting, diarrhoea and crying children. Especially when she went on to tell me that she went on a lovely holiday for her birthday this year. God she's got no idea sometimes.

On the up side, I talked to my mum and she was great. Told me that shitty birthdays often happen when the kids are young but once they get older it will get better. I asked her if I can stop having birthdays for ten years and then pick up where I left off- pretend I'm 29 instead of 39. She thought that was a great idea lol.

Another wonderful positive was that sex seemed to work tonight. It took longer than it used to be we finally had success! We both did a victory dance! haha. It was really funny. I'm so grateful for my family- even if they are all nutty.

Appetite: none. had half a potato scallop for dinner and wished I hadn't.

Gynae: no probs.

Sleep: great!

Mood: thankful, relaxed, disappointed but hopeful

Things that upset me today: that the kids are sick again- when will the poor little mites get a break?

Things I'm grateful for today: my hubby, the kids, my mum, my pop, presents, hugs, kisses, phone calls, the rain, that my hubby could get the day off work so I wasn't alone, hot showers, sleepins, coffee, doctors.