I can't seem to go a week without having a bad thought. I learned today that one of my brother's friend's dad possibly took his life. I feel…strange sad of course but angry too I guess. Did people know he was possibly suffering? I am also angry that this dad would do this when he has children and a family….I guess I shouldn't jump to conclusions but it really touched me or should I say made me think. I've been there: at that moment when taking your life seems like the best option…the only option to end the pain. Maybe my mom is right: I just look for things to be sad about (that is a paraphrase of something she has said). A kid I knew from a vocational school died from a tumor–I just knew his name I didn't know him any further and that too has been weighing on my heart.
I feel like the world's problems are mine…the conflict in Syria…the economy and even a distant relative (well according to her grandma she is doing better). But why do I care about so much I can't change? Why do I care about…everything?
Too bad I saw my psychologist this past Friday…I'd ask his advice. I'll be damned if I'm going back to the counseling department at the college. That was a joke. I even find my story taking dark turns…I know I control that but it seems every time I experience something unpleasant–no matter how small or distant–I feel I need to make my characters suffer too. Maybe I am just crazy for caring about such things. Maybe my mom is right, I am obsessed with death.
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Thursday 5th July 2012- Pap Smears & Grumpy Husbands: What a delightful day!
patnatharry, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Weight Loss, 0
Super stressed all afternoon hoping that the bleeding would stop long enough so I could have my pap,...
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Guilt
CosmicBubble, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Domestic Abuse, Infidelity, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
The end of April is fast approaching! I remember when I was younger I couldn’t wait to become an...
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I suppose it's been a while since I ranted…
Serrinatta, , Depression, Career, Child, Medication, 0
And lets, face it, all I do is rant here… Not sure why that's all I do, but it...
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The Monster
XxHarleyBlackxX, , Anxiety, Depression, Wellness Tips, 0
I’m friends with the monster under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head. You’re trying...
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Bored and lonely
Reyesik, , Depression, Anxiety, Obesity, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
i´m so lonely over here well luckly i ´m staying at my uncle house which is more relaxing and...
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I keep TRYING….so why do I still feel like DYING???
gomizzou, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Therapist, 0
just don't understand…I keep telling myself that if I keep trying–that if I do everything and anything possible to...
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I can’t go on
Picku332, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 1
I know am going to Hell, and I can\’t stop it. My life, I just can\’t live one, even...
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Tired of Being Alive
OrangeTree, , Anxiety, Depression, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Medication, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, Weight Loss, 0
I lost track of time again. I could’ve sworn today was Friday. I don’t know what’s happening anymore and...