I am having mixed messages about my life at the moment. It is like a rollercoaster of emotions. I just finished my OutPatient Program yesterday. I was there 54 days roughly over a span of 4 months. Before I was in OutPatient. I was inpatient. I was there about 2 weeks. It was my version of hell week times two. I was delusional,uncooperative,angry and manic It was a trip I never want to explore again. My husband suggested I write a blog and I felt why not it can only help right? I feel super anxious already and on the verge of tears at times. I have built a good support system while there and I impacted other people who were there as well. I left with a certificate for personal growth,peer support ect I was Star of the Month. That made me feel so good and it upped my self esteem. I was overly proud of my accomplishment. I don't know where my life careerwise kinda like I felt before going into the program. People there suggested I do Peer Support. I tried that back in 2010 and failed and was fired. I didn't have training I needed but they hired me on without this training and felt I had alot of personal issues to work out which I can see what they meant. I debating if I should try that route again People there told me I would make a good counselor. I know I need training for that. People told me I made them feel comfortable and I uplifted them. I was told to my face these things so I know it to be true. I would leave on group and go to another and people would ask to have me put back into their group saying we need Chrissy in our group I was humbled by this!! All I ever wanted to do was make a difference. That was all I ever wanted to do. I have been waiting for the door to open but I have been unemployed for so long and now only working part-time. I am hoping God will lead me to that ride path I desperately have waiting for!!

Well this is it for now!! Maybe more later thank you for listening!

~Chrissy