Today was a good day. For the most part, anyway. I had a fairly symptomless day today and I was having a great time (well, as much of a great time that can be had when you’re 7 days deep in self isolation and dangerously low on toilet roll and Gin!).
This evening…a different story. Like always, my anxiety and general worry creeps up and takes total control of me. I’ve been suffering with Gastritis which I essentially gave myself over worry and stress.a
I’m currently laying in bed with my Fiancé and my dog & I cant help but get a little bit emotional, they are my absolute world. I’d be totally lost without them. However, as amazing and understanding my Fiancé is, I can’t help but envy him. I can’t seem to remember what it felt like to go day-to-day with no anxiety, fear and constant panic. Of course I would never want him to experience how any of this feels, I just can’t seem to shake my jealous feelings. I wish I could be so laid back, so relaxed and just manage to switch off.
Its all consuming.
I’ve managed to nail down some relaxation techniques. One of which being a hot bath and some solitaire on my phone! Safe to say I’ve had about 17 baths and played around 300 games of solitaire this week alone. The gas bill will cost more than our summer holiday at this rate! But it helps. It calms me and that’s what I need right now.
I don’t think I’ll ramble on anymore for tonight…I’ll leave you with happy thoughts and I’m going to curl up with a cup of tea and watch some Monsters University (yes I’m 29 and no, I have no children)