I was told that I need to find a routine, something I do each day without fail. Something that can be my consistent thing, I guess that can be this.  well writing a blog daily. Do I always have something worth sharing, no. Today was a ok day, nothing special happened. Another successful day not picking up. I even talked on the phone with a distant friend. But again I want more. I don’t want to settle for ok, I don’t want to settle. Why when things are ok do I crave chaos? Do I really crave chaos or do I crave purpose? Because when there is chaos my purpose is to fix or resolve it. There is a beginning and a resolution. I work alone currently and today I choose to do nothing if I’m being honest. Like I know I could have gotten so much more accomplished with my day. The biggest problem is that I was able to do so. So why did I choose to do nothing? I’m going to have to do what I could have done today tomorrow or the next day anyway. I when left to my own, lack the motivation and drive to get things done. When I cant blame my mood or other people for not accomplishing tasks that I had put on my own plate, who holds me accountable? I guess in my case I hold myself accountable, right here, right now. Honestly This blog is just a memo to myself, my own way of telling myself to do better because I know I can. I so want to just delete this blog but then I would be once again breaking another promice to myself. Here’s to progress not perfection.

-Nick