Society changes people, 98% of time for the worst. Things like peer pressure, looking a certain way, and things we have to do to just "fit in."Oh how "society" got into my head and changed me and everything i used to be. A question iasked myself today is… just who am i anymore? and the fact is that theres not a solid answer i can give because i just don't know.
My names MiKe. Im now 20 years old and living with many undiagnosed mental illnesses due to the past few years. I grew up "the perfect child". I Went to school everyday, had loads of friends, part of many different groups in school, and was on the basketball team. This was all and well until highschool came around and everything got turned upside down. I thought that i was doing good and i thought i was happy until i got a look at the real world. People were horrible and i couldnt seem to find where i could fit in. Long story short i got picked on beat up; all the typical bully-ee could face in highschool. I got fed up and came up with a story that would get me out of there. I eventually got transferred to a school 40 miles away and this is when everything started going wrong.
As i was picked on and bullied in my old school, i watched and learned from the cool kids. I would pick up on how they dressed, acted, hairstyles, and what they would do when they weren't at school. I took everything i had learned from my hardships and used it to my advantage. I completley re-invented myself. Practically overnight i went from the nerd to the most popular kid in school by lying about my past and a haircut. It was crazy how easy it was. I had girlfriend after girlfriend, friends upon friends. Everyone wanted to be around me again. I was back to my old self but the lies eventually caught up to me.
I'll post more later
at the end of the day nobody made me do any of it it was my way of trying to cope with the utter since of feeling alone. id rather be a clone than alone
I did the same when i was at high school i wore what the popular kids wore i started smoking because that was the cool thing to do i just tried so hard to be like everyone else and fit in. Now im 32 and still find myself covering who i really am i have lots of tattoos all over my body but find myself covering them so people don't see them and judge me when does it stop.
i started rolling then smoking then drinking then everything else i could find. Went from social user to recreational user to full blown addict. been clean(ish) around 2 years now trying to pick my life back up but damn…. im mentally scared from all of it and thats why im here now.