I haven’t done this in awhile but I’ve been thinking. It says in the NA text that recovery in a change in ideas, actions and attitudes. You will hear in a meeting every once in awhile that clean time doesn’t equal recovery and I agree with that sometime. But what recovery is differs for each person. Recovery for me changes the longer I stay clean. In the beginning recovery was things like not just not picking up for a day. Then it was being able to think my way into taking a shower or getting something to eat for my daughter. Two things I had lost the ability to do in the end of my active addiction. Now at two years and 5 months and 2 days I wake up with NO DESIER TO USE. I am up every morning before my daughter and make her lunch for school. These are only a few things that have changed. I see many of us that look at others and compare what their recovery is and don’t see their own. I was at a NA  convention this weekend and listen to a man from NY who had 21 years. He sheared many trials he has overcome and did not pick-up over. I thought it a little comforting that even though he was given about 45 minutes to share that he had to speak for 1 hour and a half. Maybe he still struggles with ego? So see recovery for each of us is different. I know one thing for sure. If you continue to try to change you have a chance. If can stay clean just for one day your chances are even better. The more days you can put back to back – well the sky’s the limit. Don’t let someone else tell you if your recovering or not just continue to try.    Stay strong and stay clean    Johnny Wheels