I can't understand how someone can manipulate someone else's life so much. My ex sponsor has spoken to my Italian step-mother (who takes things american's say very literally) and told her that I wasn't kicked out of my mother's house, or my sponsor's house, but that i just refused to take responsibility for my actions. She also mentioned that I was drunk or high 24/7 and my mother had to pick me up from the Miliraty Police station every night…Now, the truth is, I got picked up twice because I'm a violent drunk…I have assault charges pending for attacking a man who asked me if I was a prostitute. Broke his nose and my hand….I'm completely willing to face the consiquences of my actions…but my mother kicked me out after I showed up to an AA meeting drunk…understandable…i was irresponsible and drunk…and ungrateful…now i called my sponsor because i had nowhere to go and she took me in a cut me off from the rest of the world and my family for two months…after these two months were up, she found out i had written a letter to my ex boyfriend in the US and told me to pack my things because she was going to drop me off in downtown vicenza, italy to find a homeless shelter. So i asked her if i could move in with my father instead….she got pissed and i grabbed my things and left. now she's telling my step mom that i walked out, even though she had me pack my things because she was kicking me out anyways…also, she said i walked out of my mother's house, which isn't true because for days i called my mom cryuing asking if i could come home. she was only doing what was best for me, but i tried to go back to her house. …all this time, you've got to keep in mind that i only came back to europe to go to rehab for opiates (injecting oxy's). crack, methadone, and cocaine(injecting)and i was only 90 lbs when i came back. now that i'm healthy again i want to go back to florida where my home, car, job, and friends are. but my sponsor told my mom not to let me have my passports….i'm twenty two fucking years old! so now dad is trying to get e a new one because i'm not allowed near my mother's house….i just want to go home and continue my recovery ing florida, where i feel like i fit in. here i get called a afreak, a whore, a junkie…every name in the book just because i have tattoos and piercings and boobs!!!!i don't know what to do anymore and suicide is looking better every day…but my dad sat me down last night and told me how i should behave around these people on the military base where i spend most of my time and that i should use all this negativity towards me as motivation to prove them all wrong and to go fuck themeselves….also, i have people betting money that i won't stay sober. they're just sitting and waiting for me to fall flat on my face just so they can say “that's my point” my ex sponsor being one of them….nobody here understands and i only have five or six people in my aa group…i want to go to a group in the US so that there are people my age and who have similar problems and pasts….just because i'm young doesn't make me naive, nor does it make me stupid….i just want some peers in my group whom i can relate to.:bowl:

1 Comment
  1. greg745 14 years ago

    I hope that you get back. It sounds like you're living through hell right now, and you've got everyone on your case, and I can relate to the feeling of being manipulated that you have. It's hard to speak for yourself when you're going through all of this shit, there are so many overwhelming and conflicting emotions running through your head. Stay strong. You don't have to prove anything to anybody, just stay strong. You're going to make it.

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