Hey guys, how are you all doing?
I am a bit stuck at the moment.
I went to my meds review the other day, and was offered more sessions of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) because with my meds, my OCD is still making quite an impact on my life.
I want to take these sessions on, of course, but there are many things to consider. I am only 15, therefore I don't go by myself, My Mum drives me up there and comes in the room with me in the sessions. As much as I love her, I just do not feel comfortable speaking about my disorders to her , any of my family or friends, infact anyone. So I find it too difficult to speak up and end up not saying anything. I just don't know how to tell her I want to go by myself, even though she has asked me numerous times whether I want to, I am so afraid of hurting her but I know she would rather me let her know.
Also, this would be my 4th set of therapy sessions, I just can't get the hang of the whole talking about it and I just can't seem to open up enough as much as I tell myself that I will… I don't want to waste their time. My OCD also makes me feel as though I am making a bigger deal out of things in my head as things really are, and I hate it. I can;t deal with the thought of overreacting and can't stand to believe I am doing so.
I also have exams coming up, I am in my last year of highschool and in 5 months have exams for qualifications which are pretty important over here it seems, I hate to think the therapy could interfere with the exams as my OCD already does enough of that as it is, I can't really afford to take any more effort away than has already been taken.
There are many things OCD has stopped me doing or ruined the quality of, but I just don't know how to look at this therapy, it's hard to decide on when I am constantly thinking about things in huge depths…any possible advice?
Thanks for reading X