This anxiety and excessive worry is really getting
irritating. I can\'t even hear of a potential problem
without it getting me really upset and worried. I torture
myself with it. It feels like it will never stop. In my
head I know that it is illogical and not at all necessary,
but I can\'t stop it. It makes me mad because I feel like
it is my head and my thoughts and I should be able to
control them or re direct them. I think it has gotten much
better sine I have started this medicine, but I still
struggle with it. I hate the feeling. It is such a nasty
miserable feeling. It takes over my whole body. It is a
physical feeling as well. My heart will race and I will
breathe harder or more frequent. My body will get hot or
cold. I will start to feel really sad and panicky. I am
trying very hard to re direct my thoughts. I am so good at
making something out of nothing and creating problems in
my head that do not exist or could never happen. I know it
is a problem. My brain is sick in some way. I know I need
to learn the tools to control the anxiety. I need to find
out how to identify my triggers, stay away from them,
learn coping skills, re direct my thoughts, and control
it. I know that it is possible. I know that many people do
this everyday. I can get better. I can get over this. I
can. I just need to do it. I need to get into therapy and
journal everyday. I need to write. I need to be proactive.
I think doing something physically, like actually doing
something to do it productively. I have so many reasons to
get over this. I have such a nice life to live, if I can
let myself. If I can let myself appreciate the riches that
I have and see my life in the many positive lights it has,
I think I can be happy. I have so much to be thankful for
and so much to be happy about. I need to stay in that
frame of mind. I can only do this myself. I can do it, and
I will.
