Hello there once again. I find myself writing to you this time with an incredible sense of confusion and despair. It\'s 4:30 am (eastern) and I can\'t seem to relax one little bit. I can\'t shut my mind off, and I cannot figure out why. After two days of feeling really good mentally and physically, everything seems to have gone out of whack. I know I\'m tired but when my head hits the pillow it\'s not lights out, it\'s let\'s see how fast we can flash the lights on and off.


Now I\'m sure many of you have had a similar feeling, and I\'m also sure many of you have been right there on the verge of sleep and then suddenly bolted up in a panic and have had no idea why. This is where I am right now. I just want these attacks to stop and to get some much needed sleep and relaxation. I\'m so anxious and uptight right now, that I can barely even focus on sharing this blog with you. I also can\'t get all these fears out of my head, that I\'m forgetting things, that I\'m losing my mind,  and that I\'ll never be able to sleep. I know these fears are irrational but it\'s so hard to shake them.


As I\'m writing this though I realize that when I\'m tired enough my body will just shut itself off, and that sleep will eventually come and that helps somewhat with the anxiety. I\'m also trying to come up with a list of things that are bothering me at the moment and rank them in severity, and that also helps with calming me down.


As always I thank you for supportive comments and friendly words of advice and strength. This is a battle and together we will win.




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