I might not be in my house anymore
My boyfriend and I live with his family and his mom works for DCF as a foster mom. In order for me to live in her house I had to release my medical records and I've been living with them since Feb. and today they called his mom and told her that they need to talk to me about something they found in my medical history. The entire house is freaking out, I'm even freaking out. As far as I know I don't have anything that would be a problem. I even called my mom to see if there was something in my medical history that I forgot about or didn't know about or anything. My mom said that when I was under her insurance there was nothing. I've even seen doctors since I was off of her insurance, and nothing has come back. I've gotten blood work done for work, and nothing was wrong. I've been to the doctor office twice since Feb. and she said that nothing was wrong, everything looked extremely healthy. No STDs, cancer, nothing.
Basically the only thing that me, my boyfriend, or my entire family could think of is my depression (when I called my mom for some reason my whole family was there they heard the conversation). I know that on paper, I look pretty damn depressed. My last therapist said that in her 40 years of therapy for troubled youth, I had the most depressed score that she's seen. I guess the test results only go to about 6 or 10…I got 25, the highest score you could get was I think 30 or 40. But I guess my score was basically like 'how the hell have you not killed yourself yet?'
But I've been off of my meds for almost a year and haven't seen that therapist in almost 2 years. And before meds, while on meds, and after I was off meds I never had an problems. I never got sent to the hospital, never got the police called on me, was never a 51/50, none of that. But I know that on paper, I probably look like I'm plotting to kill the entire neighborhood or something, but even living here, I've never had an incident.
I'm really scared though. I'm automatically thinking of the worst case though (before I talked to my mom). Like what if I have some STD or something and no one ever told me. Or some disease that spreads widely and I never was told. My mom told me that if that's the case then everyone would have been at risk the entire time. I'm just really nervous though. I've never had TB, I don't have any STDs, I don't have any diseases, anything like that. I'm really scared.
Strangely, I'm listtening to Dane Cook, I feel a lot better. Still a bit sad and worried and scared, but a lot better.