Why do they think its okay to yell at me when I’m already upset? Why have I all of a sudden become their punching bag and what they use to relieve their stress? Why do they wonder about what I have to hide from them? Why do they get made at me when I start talking about college and my career? Why can’t I just be honest with them like I used to, and have the same trust like we did? Why can’t I bring myself to tell them the truth about who I really am and what happened to me all those years ago? Is it because I do keep these dark secrets within me? Is it because I can’t do things on my own right now? is it just because they don’t care anymore? They do these different things that make me think the care, but is that the truth? Do they care weither I eat that day and get good grades, or do they even bother to listeb to me anymore? I wish that my plan to leave and continue to work on my education hadn’t fallen through that night, I wish I could have lead a normal life away from here at my new school with people I know do care about me. I miss seeing them and talking with them everyday, we were so close and then i started to decline again and I pushed them away, some farther than others. Why couldn’t have just led a normal life with a normal family and friends who cared about me and helped me with my problems when they happened. Maybe life would be easier to handle that way, but maybe it’s just the plan that has just been laid out for me. So let me ask you this, why did you sit for aboit seven or eight minutes to read a small blog about a girl who just wants her family to care about her, and accept her?
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Because there are people out there who do understand what you’re going through and do care 🙂
Don’t feel alone. I have experienced something similar to you, questioning my own existence as well as the purpose of life etc. I understand to an extent on what you’re feeling.
I’m also sure there’s more to your tale than what you’ve written here and if you ever feel like sharing more, feel free to let me know okay?
There’s a reason to why this site exists, why we’re both here too 😉
Thank you so much, I was doing a lot better than this and then everything just spiraled out of control.