Well I think it is time to decide where I want to call home for a while. There are a few choices but yet I cant decide. I can stay here in Detroit where I am struggeling with my recovery.. As far as finding a new sponsor and decent meetings.. I am attending Five meetings a week, not cause I like them but because I need them. I can always go back to Tampa where I got real good recovery, and attended as many as 27 meetings a week… Or i can go to jacksonville Fl where my brother lives. That would work for a while. or o can move out to the west coast …. The decision is going to be tuff but one I will pray intensely about.
I would love to go back to Tampa, However there is an issue i have with one of my so called friends in the program. It is just that she turned out to be a fair weather friend. and yeah to think i have feelings for her and yet I am aware of the possability of being hurt. and yeah i gave up hurting myself to the best of my ability..She aint returning my emails calls or ims so I guess I found out in advanced what she is about.. I guess tha is a good thing.
The west coast is looking promising. I met a young lady in Oregon about three years ago and there are some feelings there. I am just not sure how deep and where they are. I can always stay in Detroit however that leaves my one crutch open that I dont nessacarily want. That is mom and dad , it seems that every time I'm in trouble I run to them for help. I am trying to break that habit and it is hard when they are just around the corner
So nothing for nothing I am going to take some time to pray,meditate and then check my motives before make any decision. it is hard to do with out a full time sponsor but none the less am looking for a new sponsor and taking it day by day sometimes even moment by moment.