lifes to much for whatever it is about me that prevents me from being able to make friends and socialise. I don't know why no one likes me. its horrible that i can tell theyre not going to like me before they have even spoken to me. They seem to really like me at first before they've even heard me speak (the shallow bas*ards) but then as soon as i try talking to them they just give me this really horrible look that i've never been able to understand but it's the same look from everyone. People are really happy and smiley then they look at me and give me that evil look. why? It feels so horrible and i feel it permenantly, not just for a day or two but all my life because it's the only look i get off people in the end. It's so horrible. I want to ask the next person who looks at me. a few things i thought it could be are;
…they thought they would like me but don't and that annoys them because i've ruined their expectations
…they thought they fancied me but i completely dissapointed them
…they don't trust me
thats all i can think of but i don't think they are the main reasons. i think they're symptoms of the reason but i really can't work it out and it's been upsetting me all my life since i was a child. i don't get it! i don't do that to anyone! it's just not in my nature to give people horrible looks and i actually can't do it so i don't understand where it's coming from. any comment would be appreciated. i feel like i need to cry but i can't and i don't even want to it's so pathetic.