I have been worrying about my roommate a lot lately. I know he has his own issues with depression and anxiety, so anytime he seems quiet or down I start to worry. I know how depression can feel, so I just wish that I could help him somehow feel better. It kills me to think someone I care about is going through something and there is nothing I can really do to help. I wan’t to ask him if he is okay and let him know that he can talk to me, but I also fear that I am just projecting my own feelings onto him and that he will just think that its weird that I would be worried about him that much. A part of me wonders if he’s just being quiet because he is bored of being around me and doesn’t have much to talk about with me. I wan’t to talk to him about my own depression, but I never know how to start that conversation. It never seems to be the right moment, or I don’t want to bother anyone with my dumb problems when they clearly have their own to worry about. I also have a really hard time having “real” conversations with people. I have a been avoiding my own issues and hiding how I really feel on the inside for so long that I don’t even know how to deal with any of it. I just continue to avoid both my own problems and the problems of those around me simply because I just don’t know how to respond to anything that even resembles or comes close to real emotion.
I don’t know if any of this makes any sense to anyone else, but I appreciate the opportunity this site gives me to try and get some of my thoughts out of my head and into words so that I can at least try to make some sense of them.