Hey everyone, this is a post I wrote out on another forum about a year ago but I never really got any responses so I just wondered if I would get any luck here ? I would just like to say I am no where near as bad as this now !! Also if this is OCD I am lucky in a way I am no where near as bad as my boyfriend is but all this could just be me being silly  But I still want to know what people think. Thank you everyone !

 

Well I'm 15 and last night i had a conversation with my boyfriend which involved me telling him about some of my strange thoughts and habits and now he seems convinced i have ocd, i just wanted another opinion. 



My earliest OCDish thing which i remember thinking was when i was about 8 or 9 during my mum and dads second divorce from eachother. I was seeing my dad for the first time since the split and he was staying round my nans, i asked if he could fix my bike puncture for me and he just flipped.. :| It was months before i saw him again and when i did arrange anything he would regularly cancel on me for things such as golf tournaments. Not long after that i would go and quietly sit in my room while horrible sick and twisted ways i could kill my dad went through my mind, i hated it, but i would go through questions like would i really like that ? and would i love for it to happen..and if i was capable of it. I would argue with myself until i felt so confused and would just end up bursting into tears. :( 







Thoughts like that continued on random topics, the one about my dad lasted for about 3 years. I always just saw them as random thoughts, i thought they were normal but now my boyfriend says there not, and seems he suffers i thought i should probably consider his opinion quite seriously. The most recent thought was when i stroke one of my cats, for example if i stroke him too hard i will get thoughts of whether i did it on purpose, and i would argue against it continuously..and if i would want to hurt him in other ways like gouging his eyes out..the idea of it now upsets me but i still get this doubt of whether i would. :( 







I have random little habits like making sure my pillows are in the right order and my teddy bears at the end of my bed are in the right place. I'm not a neat freak or anything, im far from it but its just little things that bug the hell out of me if there not right. If i listen to a song more than once it has to be either 5, 10, 15 times etc. If i go into a toilet and the toilet roll is the wrong way round i have to fix it other wise i wont be able to concentrate on much else until its put right and another thing is if i start something i MUST finish it. See i thought everyone did little things like this but now i guess i might be wrong..



Another example which i have done since as long as i can remember is if i am sitting in a moving car i mentally picture the car fitting precisely within the gaps in the lamp posts (its hard to explain) but i keep doing it and i get caught into this loop which i find hard to snap out of and i get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach (kind of like a weight or something heavy in it) as if something really bad will happen if i do stop. These are only some of the things :? 







My boyfriend has recomended i see a professional but i feel kind of scared, seeing someone like that would make the problem just feel too real :( I have spoken so much to him about his ocd that the idea of me having it as well seems kind of silly to me, but now im having doubts. Just wanted to see what you all think..all replied and opinions will be appreciated. Thank you

4 Comments
  1. ancientgeekcrone 10 years ago

    I agree.  If anyone is to evaluate you, it should be a professional

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  2. saswabunny 10 years ago

     If I have OCD I really don't see the point in seeing a professional, the 'tendencies' have been going on for so long that they don't bother me particularly I just do them. They don't hurt anyone and as for the thoughts I have sort of learned to cope with them through distraction or simply letting them run their course (usually through just falling asleep as the mainly bother me at night) plus a couple of hours a night isn't really worth medication. Thank you for the responses 

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  3. hancey 10 years ago

    80-90% of individuals have isolated obsessions or compulsions from time to time.  They do not, however, all qualify for the diagnosis of OCD.  The key feature in the diagnosis is that these a) cause significant distress; or b) interfere with your role functioning or your ability to have good interpersonal relationships.  I am not clear whether either of these apply in your case, but probably worth talking with a professional about to see if it warrants treatment.  Just because something is there, it doesn't necessarily mean we need to treat it.  There is nothing inherently wrong with the ordering and arranging you do with your pillows and teddy bears for example–and we would only treat it if these things were causing you distress or interfering with your life in some way.   Best wishes.

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  4. Hotelguy37 10 years ago

    Well let me tell ya this.  My dad was not so nice to me either and my parents did divorce too.  I don't think those thoughts are really bad.  I think honestly that you are just holding in anger that needs to be let out.  Scream, throw pillows go somewhere and just vent to God or to yourself or a friends.  Life is hard when u have nobody to talk to and it gets worse when u keep all of that stuff in.  I know i still get bothered by some painful things of my past.  The neatness thing could be some ocd, Maybe you are thinking that if you are so need and tidy in your self conscious, your dad would want to spend more time with you.  I know that sometimes I get really neat and tidy and in my self conscious, sometimes I guess I think that makes me a better person.  I can't really explain the car thing. Maybe you should talk to someone about that.  I wish you lots of luck.  Just remember… whatever is inside you that hurts, makes u angry or caused you to be agitated… Let it out.  Easier to cope if everything is on the table…

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