I finished the 2nd draft of the novel the day after I worked my first day at X-Mart. It's amazing how motivating a day of working in retail is for me. I despise retail. Have I made that abundantly clear yet? Every day is becoming a struggle to keep my mind from spiraling into a fit of rage. I'm not angry at anything other than myself for being too lame to get a job I can be proud of. All that time and money and sweat and I'm back to running a cash register and playing step-n-fetch-it for THE MAN. I have to keep reminding myself that not every college grad leaps into success right after school.

It's not that I expect to be treated like royalty now, but I should at least be able to get a job where I can be treated like an adult–a job that matters… These people running the store really think all this crap matters… God… and they think that $8 an hour should make it matter to me too. I suppose it should, in a way. That's sad as hell, but that's our lousy economy for ya.

Anyway, now to bring that particular line of gloomy thought to a screetching halt. I DID finish the novel. Yay me!

Now comes the hard part–agent. Where to find a legit one and HOW to get them to represent me. I have to start thinking about how to write a book proposal, and I know I won't like doing it, but success isn't all fun and make-believe. Man, I'm dying to start a new project though.

I put my little window sill herbs on the balcony for some unfiltered sunlight. They're not growing as well as they have in the past summers. I think it's partly to do with the cheapo potting soil I bought. My chives are from last year so they're flourishing, basil is unbelievably easy to grow, thyme is doing okay, rosemary is barely growing at all (just two little sprigs), my sage is disappointingly sparse (only one dwarfy seedling out of the 5-6 seeds I planted), my lavender is strangely late in popping up, and the lemongrass is MIA–all weeds. The tomato never sprouted at ALL, so I threw it away. Man, last year everything grew so well. What happened?

I had hoped to have enough sage to make a small home-made smudge stick by the end of the summer, but it's looking as though I'll have to wait until I have a back yard to plant it in before I can do that. Boo. Maybe someone has cursed me. Oh well, the three-fold rule still applies, y'know.