i feel so alone right now. my boyfriend didnt come home last night because i hung up on him. he has been working ALOT and we have no real time together. He comes home eat and goes to sleep. when i try to innitiate sex he does nothing. when he wants it he wants me to dress up and watch porno, sh-she's and transsexuals and i cannot deal with that. im too old to deal with this kind of crap. i just want a peaceful life where when he comes home we can have a little quality time together. when he isn't working we only do errands and that it. we never do anything fun. his job is going to start requiring him working 6-7 days a week 12 hr days. what kind of life is that for me? i have NOWHERE else to go but to be here with him. i live on ssi so i cannot afford my own place so what am i supposed to do. do i not have the right to be upset when he says hes gonna work a few hours and it turn out to be 14 hours? On Sat? i am so very lonely and dont enjoy doing anything anymore and physically and mentally i am a mess. i dont have current meds that i need and i am trying desperately to get them. i can get nowhere with the county and its all driving me crazy. i need help be will NOT go to another psych hospital. I will never be locked up again. cannot deal with that. what the hell do i do? i love this man and i know he loves me but we are in crisis and i dont know what to do. i need help but there is no one to help me????