HA, NOTHING LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE TO MAKE A PERSON FEEL BETTER. THO ACHOLISUM RUNS IN MY FAMILY AND I SAID I WOULD NEVER DRINK TO THAT POINT BUT WELL I DID TODAY. HA I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK. I LET IT ALL OUT TO CS AND AND I FEEL BETTER BUT MY GIVE A FUCK IS DONE. IM DONE DONE DONE. I SHOULDNT BE WRITTEING RIGHT NOW CAUSE IVE HAVE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WINE BUT HELL I LET EVERYTHING LOSE WHEN I DRINK. AND IM LOSE THATS FOR SURE.I'M SO TWISTED INSIDE I WEAK AND READY TI GIVE UP I NEED TO FIND THAT ONE THING THAT WILL KEEP ME GOING. IT FEEL LIKE IVE USED UP ALL OTHER RESORCES

MUSIC THATS MY KEY BUT MY IPOD JUST KEEPS PLAYING THINGS THAT REMIND ME PEOPLE.

THATS MY ADDICTION IS PEOPLE. I LATCH ONE TO SOMEONE AND WHEN I DO IM EITHER THE BEST FRIEND EVER OR GIRFRIEND BUT WHEN IT GOES BAD IM ALL FUCKED UP. IM SO DESPARTE FOR LOVE EVEN AS A FRIEND ITS NOT FUNNY. IM LONELY IM IN A STATE WHERE I KNOW HARDLY ANYONE NOONE TO HAVE A CUP OF COFFE WITH WHILE MY HUSBAND IA AWAY YET AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

HOW MUCH MORE CAN I HOLD ONTO A PERSON I NEVER SEE, AFTER THIS TRIP IS OVER ITLL BE 2 FN YEARS THAT WE HAVE BEEN APART.

REALLY IS THAT NORMAL. HOW MESSED UP AM I THAT I KEEP HOLDING ONTO SOMETHING THAT I CANT HOLD. IM DRUNK AND I KNOW IT AND I SHOULDNT BE WROTTING BUT I AM. I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IM DOING, EXCEPT TO DRINK SO I DONT HAVE TO THINK SO MUCH,. I THINK TO MUCH I OVER THINK IM A POINT A TO POINT Q KIND OF PERSON. IF THIS HAPPENS THEN SO WILL THIS THEN THIS THEN THAT. UGH I CANT SHUT IT OFF EVEN WHEN I DRINK. DAMN IT IVE BECOME MY FATHER WHO HAS WITH OUT TELLING DISOWNED ME. THANKS DAD YOU WERE A REAL FUCK UP IN MY LIFE ALMOST AS BAD A MY MOM WHO DECIDED TO STAY WITH THE MAN TO MOLESTED ME AS A CHILD. DAD YOU AT LEAST TOOK ME TOO THE BARS WITH YOU WHILE YOU GOT DRUNK, YOU AT LEAST DROVE US HOME AND ENDED UP IN A DITCH BUT HEY YOU GOT US OUT OF THAT DITCH. FUCKING ASSS HOLE I HATE YOU. EVERYTHJING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD YOU TELL ME TO JUST "GET OVER IT" REALLY YOUIR A FN WINNNER DAD WHAT A WAY TO RAISE A DAUGHTER. I HAVE TWO MYSDEKLF AND THEY WILL NEVER FEEL ANYTHING LIKE WHAT I FELT WITH YOU. YOU WERE GOD TO ME ONLY TO LET ME FALL ON MY FACE AND SAY TO ME WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET THE FUCK UP AND MAN UP.

GREAT NOW IM REALLY PISSED OFFF. I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL AND IF I HAD A SHOT GUN I KILL YOU ALL. AND YEA I KNOW THIS IS PUBLUIC AND THAT IT COULD HOLD UP IN A COURT OF LAW AND IF YOU GET KILLED I WILL GLADLY TAKE THE BLAME CAUSE YOU DESREREVE IT FOR BEING FUCKED UP PARENTS LIKE YPOU ARE/.

GO TO FUCKIUNG HELL