Does this blog turn you off?
Do you have the compelled urge to skip this post?
Good.
Sometimes, I wonder whether I really belong on Depression Tribe. Some of you have it so bad, some of you are cracked apart and scattered into unretrievable pieces. Some of you are so empty, living is a bother. Isn't that how most of us feel? But some of you are extreme.
Hour by hour, day by day, and it's those people that I put above me in this site. Those people who need help more badly, who need a hand, people who've been through worse.
I feel selfish to worry about my episodes. Yes, they scare me, but they only come every once in a while. In the "normal" state, I show the mentality of BPD, but not to the extremes.
That's why I'm such a hypocrite, why I write so much cheerful crap on DT. "Have a good day," "I love [insert improper noun, verb, or random thing here,]" "Today is amazing."
Why do force myself to type in such a positive manner?
Because I force myself to [and accept] encourage others. I like the feeling of making sure a person know's they're important. [Though I wonder if y'all see through me.]
Each and every one of you is amazing.
If you think otherwise, I'll come over there and beat you up. :]
I also wonder about blogs. Every blog I see says "I," journalling-on other blog sites, there are a lot of people who use their blogs for news, gossip, images, and many other things.
That brings me to the thought, "what if everyone else doesn't like everyone else's blog? What if reading the summaries on the home page or blog page makes their face curl in disgust?"
Then, "What if they look at my blog like that? What if they hate my writing and ignore my blogs because they really don't care?"
Are we that self absorbed?
Some of us, perhaps. I believe that's a common mentality we hold.
That's not always a bad thing, though. All I know, is that I'm going to continue my attempts at spreading "love" around. No, not herpes, love. Happiness.
And I'll always be here as a listening ear.
My replies to your tragedy may sound fake or robotic, but trust me, they're not. I'll always sympathize when the time comes, I'll always understand and love when the time comes.
Well, now I've got to log off and sleep. :] Whooo, I get to wake up at 3 am, to fly to Nebraska tomorrow. 😀
Have the most amazing weekend ever, guys.
Bye Depression Tribe, see you in 10 days.
The typos are bothering me, and when I try to fix it, the typo disappears in edit mode.
e_e
Sosgirl,
First of all, I'm really happy that your here! We should never compare any pain that we have with someone elses pain. We are all here for a reason and depression, no matter what type connects us all to one another. And not all of us are doing terrible. I'm actually doing really good and I come on here to talk with friends and to encourage others that are struggling. This website is a great reminder that I am never alone and that I can talk comfortably with other people that struggle with depression of any type. I am a Christian and I look at this website as a ministry, because I have gone through a lot in the past, but I am doing a lot better today. Yes, I have Bipolar Depression but those two words do not define who I am today because I would rather be defined as a joyful Christian. I choose to look for joy no matter what and that keeps me having peace and hope in my life and through my daily relationship with God.
Know this though, no matter how you might feel at the moment or season in your life, know that you are encouraging other people and that is a blessing. Though you might not be religious, know that I am not religious. Religion alone is dead. Know that I have a personal relationship with Christ and Christ has brought me life, not religion. Just the fact that you see that your positive and you look for ways to encourage others encourages me. Your not selfish. Your human. Please allow yourself to feel and know that we all want you here no matter what! I hope to see more of you on here!
God bless,
GodsRose