So… I feel like I am somewhat content once in a while with what I've been doing with my life.. until I feel like someone is judging me or gives me unwarranted advice about what I should be doing instead. I let other people affect me so much. Like… no, of course I don't want to spend the rest of my life walking dogs and working at a restaurant but that's what I do for the moment and it pays the bills. And it's relatively low-stress. I don't want to jump into anything again because I did that in college and now I'm regretting majoring in what I have a degree in that I'm spending all my money on. I'm sick of people asking why I don't want to do anything in Theater anymore. I just don't. There are other things I'm much more passionate about. I know my friends and family care about me but.. I just need to focus on little things that make me happy. And being able to pay my bills is something I'm proud of I guess. No, I'm not using my degree; no, I don't have an amazing "grown-up" career, but I'm figuring it out. It's taking me some time and it's been a really big struggle but I am adjusting to life on my own, outside of college. And I don't need to make excuses just to appease someone who doesn't understand that what I'm doing right now is TOTALLY OKAY. It's okay that I don't have my shit together. I don't need to. What I need to do is keep trying as hard as I can to be at peace with myself. My mental health is more important than money, my career path, or impressing ANYONE. The adults in my life mean well, but they do not understand how different our generations are. The pressure of "having my shit all together"/"finding a REAL JOB" is too much for me to handle right now, when what I really need to do, before anything else, is realize what I'm all about.
1-20-15
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Sounds like you are doing just fine. Love yourself.