My family causes a lot of anxiety in my life.  My mother and grandmother both have issues with anxiety. It's almost like looking at people who are somewhat anxious, anxious, and extremely anxious (me)…. I constantly worry that I am going to do something that causes more anxiety for my mother.  I'm almost 28 years old and I'm still afraid of upsetting my mother.  I depend on my family a lot now, since my anxiety levels have left me unemployed for a while now.  I keep feeling like it's time to get away from my family and the drama, but she doesn't want me to go.  My mother is probably the best friend that I have but she depends on me way too much.  And her dependence keeps me feeling guilty and constantly wanting to keep her happy. Lately whether it is my manic tendencies kicking in or just me totally losing control I want to just go on a road trip and just drive away from this place.  But because of financial stuff I don't feel like what little money I have is mine.  I feel like I owe it all to my parents for allowing me to live in their house.  I don't feel like i deserve to have anything I want in life anymore… I'm depressed and anxious and just need something that is going to calm me down and give me a reason to live.  I just can't seem to find something to latch onto.  My meds are complete waste of time.  If anything they have only made me worse.  And my psychiatrist just keeps telling me.. give it time.. I think 10 years of trial and error with medication is plenty of time to find something that will at least ease some of my symptoms.. Ugh.. if only I could afford a dr who knew what they were doing………….