I was inspired to blog after reading what someone was going through.

Have you ever had the fear that something traumatic that happened to you, or to someone else very close to you was going to happen again? It can have such similar  likeness to a situation and resemblance that you begin to feel the same feelings of fear, anxiety, loss, loss of control and feel like you don't know what to do! The feeling progresses to such a high and uncomfortable state that you feel like you need to disconnect.   

You can have something happen to someone you love so deeply and completely that you feel like telling others not to go, do, or have something because it saves you from your fear, only in the way that you feel that you have control again, not that you no longer fear that thing anymore. 

Just because a traumatic thing happens to someone else and they get hurt or die, does not mean that you your self are not a Trauma Survivor! If the trauma happend to you you might be more aware of that fact that you are a Survivor!

Be patient with your self, trauma is a difficult thing to cope with…I say cope and not get over because you will never get over a loss of someone so close to you, you will only learn how to cope with it, what is called the "Healing Process", it is not the same way or time for everyone, everyone has there own healing process, some it takes, months, others years, most of us I think feel like a life time if ever, but I think we need to be understanding of what we are fearful of and that it is okay to be scared. 

It's just not okay for us to push our own fears on others and limit them on the things they want to do in order to please ourselves and limit the amount of fears that we have! 

Have you had a time in your life where everything seemed to be going really good, whether just for a week, a few days or whatever, and suddenly your heart STOPS!   You begin to think to your self, how is this happening?  You then realize that you have had and do not have control of it!  It's just happening, no one person has control of it, or when and ..if it will stop, end or keep going!  Then begins the fear, the uncontrolable "What if's" and you either feel run down, or panic….next you start noticing that things aren't as perfect as you thought and tell your self "See I knew it wasn't going to last" "I knew it was to good to be true" … … Well guess what???  You are NOW BACK IN CONTROL!!!     DOESN'T FEEL GREAT?    No and yes!  You feel bad that you loss something good, but feel better knowing that you knew something was going to happen…yup you called it, you are in control, therefore the Fear of losing that person, the happiness you felt the last few days, weeks, etc. and the not knowing is now gone …..and then sets in the gult and depression of losing that feeling of happiness and not having that feeling of anxiety!  We should be happy that we don't feel fear and anxiety right? If you think about it before you began thinking about something wrong happening, you were free from your anxiety, either mostly or completely, then your body, mind, behavior etc, noticed a change..doesn't matter if good or bad, it noticed a change…. and from past fears, we set our selves up by panicking!  So STOP !!!      BREATH!!!      RUN & HUGG WHOEVER RIGHT WHEN THIS HAPPENS & it will change that moment of Fear and tell your body for now it is good, I'm happy and it's okay…you may have to keep doing this…..this is an example of loss of control when it is going good, I think that fear of something happening again can happen for many reasons so if it is as a result of someone close to you wanting to do, go or have something do the following…it may help.:)

You can sit that person down and let them know that because you do not have control of the outcome or whether or not they will get hurt you are scared, but that doesn't mean that you don't want them to go, do, or have something, it just means that you need time to cope because of whatever happened to you or whoever you hold your fear for. 

Tell them that you love them and that you will be happy if they are happy.  This should not be a long conversation nor do you need the other persons in-put, you just need to tell them your fears, why, and that you are happy for them.

Let them know that you aren't going to keep bringing it up.  You will see how even that will help your fears lower,  no they will not disappear, (although that would be nice eh?)  but your fears and anxiety will be a lot less, and your friend, spouse, son, daughter, etc will feel so much better about enjoying their-selfs with out worrying and or feeling bad that they are somehow hurtting you over something again they have no control of !   

Why would anyone want to make someone feel bad about doing something they want to do?  Would that person do the same to you? Why hold someone back just because it hurts you? Are you more important than them or their feelings?  

You will see how much that other person will admire you. We all need support and acceptance from those we look to.  Be true to yourself and others, Stay Beautiful !