I wish I could just make myself take my medicine. I get such anxiety even thinking about taking it. There are so many reasons I feel so anxious about it. First, I feel like me taking medicine means that there is something wrong with me (like some kind of crazy sickness). Second is that I am breastfeeding and I am so scared that even trace amounts of it will get in my baby\'s system and something bad will happen to her because of it. If I took it and even fifty years down the road she had some kind of heart or other health issue I would feel like it was my fault. Third is that I feel like if I didn\'t panic over things I would somehow loose control of my life. I feel like I would slip up and not worry about something and something terrible would happen from my negligence. And, on and on. I could rationalize a thousand reasons not to take it. But, I could also name ten thousand reasons I should. I need to be happy, so my kids can grow up to be happy people. I need to really feel life, before I loose the chance to. I need to be in control of me and my emotions so I can seize the opportunities I come across. I need to change. I need to be strong. I need to understand that amongst all the bad and terrible things that do and could happen, there is wonderful and beautiful things I am not letting myself see right now. I owe it to myself and my kids to take the pill. I know this. Yet, I can sit there for an hour with it in my hand, and never let it even touch my lip. I don\'t exactly know what this is going on in my brain. I know I am not well. I know how much it hurts. I know what it is doing to me and everything in my life. Sometimes I just feel crazy. My thoughts never stop racing. At ANY point of time I can list at least five bad things I am thinking about repetively. Why? Why do I waste my time thinking about such terrible things. Somethings that haven\'t even happened, or are very unlikely. I can\'t be in a car, or even around a car without thinking about getting into a bad accident. Not just your average fender bender, my mind envisions bodies being thrown from the car and tons of blood, maybe even a baby in the front seat. Why would I imagine something like that? Why can\'t I just get into the car and think about, I dunno where I am going or something that doesn\'t involve a bloody tragedy. Now I can\'t sleep. I usually have been sleeping for three hours by now. It has never kept me awake like this before.
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Just because its expected doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
missterious, , Anxiety, 0
So, I finally got a response from M today. He was online and we were doing the usual sending...
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A life out of control.
Vendela, , Anxiety, Child, Relationships, 1
As I sit here tonight, feeling miserable, I'm finally ready to admit to myself that I am in need...
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A tough month
winniebree, , Anxiety, Anxiety, 0
The past month was very tough. I went through moments of being extremely tired, fear,hurt and anxious. Thank goodness....
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The trouble with reading
morningstar, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Therapy, 2
I used to read a lot and I don't anymore, books to read have started piling up unread. That's...
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Patience for myself
Crescent, , Anxiety, Depression, Questions, Stress, 0
I’ve been going back and forth with myself to write this all week……this is just my rambles and processing...
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To befriend anxiety and kick away fear
Jblitz59, , Anxiety, Anxiety, 0
Provided nothing is physically wrong with you, and it is in the mind- overcoming requires getting comfortable with feeling...
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New Eyes
AlexSophia88, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Domestic Abuse, Forgiveness, Grief, Therapy, 1
I'm anxious, scared, excited… after having realized, I mean, truly realized my fate was not my fault, that I...
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Today is another day
tfreeman002002, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Depression, Self Help, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Weight Loss, 0
A few months ago I almost choked on a pill. I didn't but it stuck in my throat and...
i feel you on this i dont take meds but probably should..i fear death and cancer and dying i constantly think something terrible is going to happen ….but it hasnt yet so i need to move on you will be fine