just wait till i tell you what i got to do today…you guys are gonna be green with envy….i got to go thru all my old emails from her….you know…the woman who took the best part of me and made me watch while she set it on fire and then laughed not just in my face but also behind my back…yeah all those memories that i had saved up so i could go back and look at them time after time in case i forgot what real pain and heartache feels like….i know…you missed out on that…hah…bet youre kicking yourself….i got to delete everything that reminds me of her or face the thought of torturing myself for who knows how long….all the i love you's and you are my world's and there is no one else for me but you and i cant wait till we can spend every day together for the rest of our lives…i got to weed thru every single piece of that broken glass minefield pretending the reason i cant see the monitor is because i got something in my eye and not cause im crying because why would i do that….yup…bet you'd give anything to change places and enjoy some of these good times…i got to slice a huge part of my life away and discard it so it wouldnt scar me any further…i got to face the reality that the person i'd give my life for in a second doesnt even give me a first thought…who wouldnt want to experience that…thats right…i had that golden chariot ride all to myself…and i didnt save any for you….i must be the most selfish piece of sh*t on the planet not to have shared that much fun with my friends….you must all hate me right now…but sometimes you just keep the really good stuff to yourself…
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