Yesterday a bomb was dropped on me.
I am part of a sorority here at college and have a little sisters and a big sister who I've always felt rather close to (my big rather than little). However yesterday my little was in my room with my roommate and they proceeded to go get food without asking if I needed anything. Normally I wouldn't mind too much, but I just severly sprained my ankle playing rugby and have to crutch around.
As anyone with this kind of pain and swelling knows, it's hard to go up and down stairs and "walk" to get anything
Naturally this upset me and I felt terrible about myself, I must have done something to upset them and make them hate me. My good friend (not part of the sorority) came over and took me to get ice-cream. At that time I texted my big to ask her what was wrong. She answered back very snappy saying I lied to her and she didn't want to talk to me as she was studying. I asked what I lied about and she told me to think about it.
When I told my mom (and my therapist today) they both said I did the right thing. I had asked what was wrong and was trying to help the situation.
No one is perfect, and I was willing to try and make amends for whatever I may have lied about.
What hurt me the most was the fact that my little would have HAD to be the one to spread these things about me. Someone I thought I could trust. She crushed that. Talking about me like that is catty and immature.
I would have normally taken this very personally and gotten very depressed about it. I am sad that they are upset with me, but I'm not blaming myself for whatever they think is wrong. I feel that until they come to me now, theres not much else I can do.
I've sent the olive branch out and they both have rejected it.
I don't know if I will continue to be in this 'sisterhood'. I know I did join for a reason, but I need to focus more on the friends who support me and love me for who I am.
Mistakes and all.
Hang in there