Dam I just finished playing DOTA and now I’m talking to my friend and for some reason I started to tell her that I’m feeling hella sad. Dam it like when i listen to certain music it reminds me of hella shit that just makes me wanna kill myself. LOL i dont really mean that but sometimes it feels better if i can just end everything at once. My friend is still outside and didnt even respond to my text. I’m like looking at myself and noticing that he is out there having fun and I’m at home typing in this blog like a looser. Idk it like im really jealous but i no if i say anything it would be embarassing so i cant really say anything. I really wish that we could meetup like before and chill, but now since none of us really wants to pop together or pay for it anymore, it seems like the pills and weed were the only thing keeping us together to chill. I mean we are still close according to him, but we just dont chill that much or talk that much anymore. Is that really ok and normal if it is why am i brothered by it. I wish someone would be able to help me or guide me, but it seems like I’m alone in this. Everyday I’m starting to feel that im more alone and everyone is just talking, but I do no that when i talk to people about this is start notoicing that its stupid, so i could just still be downingl. Dam I needa sleep soon, cause my other friend is meeting me up 2mororow in the morning to go jogging. I didnt exercise for awhile cause i’ve been drinking and poping a lot. There is a free 18+ club 2mrorow that i can wait to go to, but i dont think i should pop there, but my other friends are poping, idk. All i no is that i need to stop poing soon. Dam now that i think bout it i do have a lot of friends and im not lonely, but why do i still feeling alone sometimes. I wish it will go away. Am I REALLY ALONE, or is it because of the downing from drugs. I’m getting hungry and tried imma sleep and dam someone owes me money and its getting annoying to get it back seems like i need to involve people to get it back, but dam i dont want to ask for help i just want my money back. Dam i stress too music. Well imma go eat and then watch some aniyme and then sleep. e-count 333!!!!