I don’t really feel like explaining about my whole life yet, but right now I am so confused on the way I am thinking. It’s like I hella miss chilling with my NRG friends like how we use to chill before, but there really isn’t anything I can do to chill with them again cause it starts to feel weird. I think that our friendships are just drifting apart, but my friend that I talked to said this is normal and we aren’t drifting apart, just not seeing or chilling or talking to each other as much as we use to. Is that really true? He said that we are close, but we don’t need to chill everyday, and truthfully it has been boring since we started chilling everyday since we met, but now that we stopped chilling so much it starts to feel weird like I rather go back in time to how it use to be. Also I pop ecstasy a couple times a week and I smoke everyday and drinking a lot but not everyday. I know that when i stop this is when i start having trouble with these issues with most of my friends, either way I going to start blogging. Typing right now really helps and it is making me feel more relieve that im finally saying it. Everytime I’m alone I would start thinking that know ones wants me around. But I know that aint true, but it still feels that way. I really want to start chilling with my NRG friends again, but they are telling me that when u see someone too much u will get bored and annoyed of them, even if u are close to them it is really ok to not see them all the time. I wish someone would tell me that and convince me to beleive cause right now i feel so alone cause of this. It like i think all my friends are drifting apart. dam i need help anyways I’ve been trying to get my mind off all this issues by exercising, eating more, anime, drama, and DOTA!! Hehe. Well i just finished eating and I’m about to wash the dishes, showering then play some dota or watch a drama called Shiroi Haru. Its really good if anyone really reads this and that would be funny, but dam i really want someone to help me but im scared to ask cause i might annoy them or they might think i’m just a emo kid with hella problems which i am but I hope this is because of my downing from taking too much drugs. Well my eyes are burning imma go