I have had a few busy days and a hectic couple of weeks. Which reminds me a big apology to everyone who i haven't got back to – sorry guys! I have started helping out at a local youth group and i have loved it. I have been helping out most days and I have made new friends, its got me out of the house, and it has got me doing things and enjoying life again. I almost feel like things are back on track and expect for a few small things. But they will fall into place soon enough. but even though i have made this progress, I have still had a few panicky moments where i could feel the panic attacks start to creep up on me. And i suppose its my own fault for not keeping on top of the meditation and relaxation routine i have. And i wont beat myself up of this because this makes it worse. And I realised that I would probably always need to keep on top of this, and keep the demons out, stop all the negative thoughts out. I was feeling really good about myself today and then suddenly out of nowhere all these negative thoughts that used to bother me suddenly crept in – I hated it and i am having trouble dealing with it. I will write all this down in my diary because i am soo tired and need to sleep as i have a busy day tomorrow and will work on it tomorrow or monday once i have got time. I dont like to put these things on hold but i have to as i need to give it my full attention and give it time. At least i will be distracted as i work with the kids tomorrow! nite all and i hope you all are well. Sorry if this hasnt made much sense! x
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