People always ask me why I don't like my younger sister. Why I betray her so much. I never really told anyone. But I decided that maybe its time I should share how I feel. When I was ten years old my sister made a HUGE mistake. One that took effect on everyone in my family. One that changed my life forever. One that made know that I would never forgive her again.

I was ten years old when my sister decided she wanted to live with my dad. Although my mom didn't think it was a good idea, so Kelly decided to lie. She started telling my dad that our step dad abused us. She was about 7-8 years old. I knew it wasn't true, I knew what she was doing. When she told my dad and step mom these things I use to try to but in and say no, but they always got mad at me. It was like they wanted to believe it. Then they would look at me and ask me if my step dad hurt me, and of course I would say “NO! TIM DOESN'T DO THAT! SHES LIEING!” They use to get so mad at me for not agreeing with Kelly that they would call me a liar. Then they would have these “talks” when they brought me up in the room and told me all this bull crap about my mom. They told me my grandfather tried to stalk my step mom? But I held my grudge and just listened. I never responded while they sat there and drove stuff into my mind. Kelly use to just sit there, and watch them do this to me. I was so shocked that she let them do that. She didn't understand what it was doing to me.

I remember the day Kelly said she wasn't going back to moms. My dad asked me if I wanted to and I was like “I'm going home, to moms..” and they brought Kelly to my step moms, parents house and had her stay there while they brought me home. When I got out of my dads truck my step mom had me stand with her as my dad told my mom. I remember my moms face. She started crying and I just wanted to run over there and hug her but I couldn't move. When I got in the car with my mom, she was freaking out calling the police and everything and I just starred at my feet in silence. I was so scared. The my mom looked at me and I look up and she said “Why did you let…them…do…this..?” I just looked back down at my feet. I was wearing blue airwalks. I started to cry and my mom pulled into the police station and I sat in the waiting room crying and this police officer brought my mom into a room and I sat alone out there. I felt like running out th door and just keep running. I felt like no on wanted me. My mom came out and we headed home. The next day at school, the counselor came to see me and see how I was. I just acted like everything was normal but I remember crying.

Anyways after court and everything my sister started to come over every other weekend. I treated her like crap I will admit. But I felt that she deserved it. My mom started yelling at me a lot and always seemed mad at me. I didn't understand. I was the one who went through hell so I could still live with her but it seemed like she didn't want me anymore. My sister use to hug up to my mom and try to make me jealous. I hated her. So much. But now that I'm older I realized that my mom never knew what happen at my dads. How I stood up for them and everything. I think she didn't understand why I didn't like my sister. If I did something “wrong” at moms, my sister would go back to my dads and tell him everything I did wrong so when I came over, they would give me hell for it. I started to get really sick of it. I went to counseling but I never really talked to her. I just kinda yes and node her. I remember one time when I called my sister a Bitch and of course, when you 10 years old thats a really bad word. She told my step mom and I remember my step mom threatening me, telling me that she won't except that and stuff. I felt like everyone hated me and turned to Kelly. The Kelly that sat there and let our dad drill shit into my head. They loved Kelly who turned into a selfish bitch. The one that everyone supposedly loved. I hated it so much. When I went to my dads my step mom always made me work out with and her stuff because she use to say I need to loose weight. Of course with my luck, Kelly was beautiful and skinny. She was everything. They treated her like Jesus. My step mom use to say “Get away from the TV for once..” and I NEVER watched TV then, and I was active. I played field hockey, basketball, and softball. Know a days I just don't anymore because when I'm out there playing, I get that feeling again like I have to make my damn family happy. So I stopped. I still ski and skate, I just don't enjoy competing. Now that I'm older, I start to realize a lot that was going on when I was younger. I don't visit my dad that much anymore. I can't stand it. I remember one time I wore perfume and my step mom had an Asama attack and I felt so bad. I really did. I thought she was dead because when I called to ask my dad if she was okay he wouldn't answer. They wouldn't talk to me, they made me feel like I did it on purpose. But I didn't. Come to find out, they actually thought I tried to kill her. I was so shocked I couldn't breath. I was like “Great, now they think I'm a murderer.” I couldn't sleep for weeks. My mom has helped me through so much of this, but not the whole Kelly thing, because I never told her. I couldn't. I never told anyone. Nowadays when my sister comes over I usually hide in my room. Sometimes we talk but usually we keep out distance. My family always say they wish she would move back because they don't like my dad, but I don't want her too. Because when she's not around I feel like I can be myself and not have to worry about her telling my dad stuff. I'm very immature sometimes, I'll admit. Like me and my friends pose for cars in the morning waiting for the bus or give random old men high fives in wal-mart. But if it was abnormal, I wouldn't be the only one doing it. Although my step mom and dad think I'm some quacked out perverted girl who doesn't have modesty. If I didn't have modesty, I would walk around naked. BUT I don't. I hate how they always try to make me feel like I have to be perfect, like I have to be like Kelly. I think they do this because I didn't move in with them or agree that Tim hurt me. I use to hate it but now I honestly don't care. They can think what they want. I'm so sick of making them happy.

My point is, is that the reason I don't like my sister is because of what I just shared. I feel like she doesn't deserve my respect so I will not give it to her. I know some of you probably think that I'm selfish, but I'm not at all. I'm just a teen who lost her childhood to some selfish people. I'm hoping most of you will understand where I'm coming from. A lot of you always say “You should really try being a better sister.” I won't try, till she does. But there probably won't ever be a time when I will forgive her. I know she was just kid but still, these days, she hasn't changed much at all. She has changed everyone and everything, as I believe.

1 Comment
  1. fschubart 10 years ago

     You're at a very confusing age right now, at least it was for me. I was caught up in a similar situation, and I won't go into details, too long to write. I can only assume that at one point your parents loved each other. But there is a really fine line between love and hate. Even to the point where they'll sabotage each other and even use their own kids to do it. It probably has nothing to do with you, but seems like you're the one paying for it anyway. The point I'm getting at is that you have to keep a healthy outlook for yourself and you can do your part to not let a situation escalate into something you'll regret. Some times you can't take things back that you've done and rather than destroy relationships, you might consider building them, or at least not make it worse. The smoke will clear, but it takes time. Some things stay with you forever and you have a long life ahead of you. You don't want to spend the rest of it looking back and wish you could do it over and undo your part in things and do them differently. I'm sure they both love you and want you, but are so wrapped up in their own thing, they have difficulty showing it. Hang in there kiddo and try to focus on the good things. These are the best years of your life!!!

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