I was so angry because his mom still thinks that I'm lazy. She says that I'm being 'a white girl' which basically means that I'm only good for one thing and I don't do anything else. Even though I am white and that's a bit racist, but whatever…Last night I also learned how she cleans and why the house is always so freaking dirty. Her way of cleaning is to sweep and vaccum, nothing else. No dusting, no cleaning the counters, stove, sink, nothing. Yet she argues that she cleans every day. Every time I go downstairs she's either sitting on the couch or out and about buying something. And the thing is, this all started because at 10pm my boyfriend wanted hotdogs and his mom saw him making himself food and started to have a bitch fit. I know why it got under my skin so much, it's because I can't say anything back. I have authority issues, anyone that stops me from doing something that I feel I have a right to do or that I should do I immedeately have an issue with that person. Also, I have a problem with hypocrits. It's like sitting there telling someone how disgusting smoking is while you're sitting there smoking. I have issues with people telling me what I can and can't do.

But ya…it's funny because she starts getting on me about not cooking or cleaning…she 'cleans' once every 2 weeks (vaccums) and I've never seen her cook the 7 months I've been here, so where does she get off telling me that I should do that shit? She's an old school woman, she thinks that a woman is only a good woman if all she does is cook, clean, pray and have kids, nothing else, just that. I cook and I clean. I don't pray because I'm not very religious, and when I did pray I was catholic, to her that's a sin since I'm not christian. The thing is, I would never want to be her kind of christian. She puts her religion ahead of her family, and she's sinned like no tomorrow, so why push your religion on to other people when you don't even follow it fully?

Basically, me and her don't see eye to eye at all. I don't have a religion, but I have beliefs. I believe that there are angels and demons and a heaven and hell. I believe that if you live the best life that you can (as good of a life as you can) then when you die you'll go to heaven. When you get to the big pearly gates St. Peter is there with a giant book and looks up your name and gives you the thumbs up or thumbs down. If you get a thumbs up then the gates open and all of your dead relatives and friends are waiting there (kind of like an airport) and greet you. If you get a thumbs down then you go to hell.

She believes that the only way you can go to heaven is if you have God in your heart, it doesn't matter what you did during life, but when you die you have to have God in your heart.

I believe that family should come first, when you have kids your kids come first before anything. She's left her kids literally out in the cold so that she can go to church or a church function. She gives the church whatever it asks for. Her brother, he's part of a religion, it's based out of Africa (i forget what it's called), but it is like basically the original unwatered down version of voodoo. When he was being initiated he had to cover himself with a kind of oil daily, he told everyone about it, what did my boyfriend's mom say? "I hope you put that oil on your feet, that way they won't burn when you're in Hell." everyone was shocked. To me I have a problem with that.

Now that she has her adopted son, she spoils him rotten, he's 2 years old and still in diapers, he only knows about 10 words and always has a pacifier in his mouth 24/7. I understand that he's at the tantrum age, but how are his tantrums met? With cuddling and rewards. Like in the kitchen yesturday, I was cooking and he was playing with a ball, he kept throwing the ball into the kitchen so I stopped him and told him no. After a while he came into the kitchen and started playing near the stove, I told him no and guided him out of the kitchen, he kept coming back. So I picked him up and moved him right outside the kitchen doorway, what does he do? He starts crying, he then slams his hand on the ground and continues to cry even harder. His mom comes and picks him up and starts to coddle him.

I don't know if times have changed that much, or if maybe I was just raised differently, but when I was little if I started crying I'd get asked what happened, if there was an adult that saw then they'd say what happened, no matter what the reason I was always told to stop crying and then if I was hurt I'd get taken care of, or if what happened was my fault I'd get spanked or put in the corner, if I conitnued to cry then I'd have until the count of 3 to stop crying. My family still does that with my counsins' kids. The thing is, I'm only 20, so times couldn't have changed that much.

But ya…sorry, a bit of a rant and i forgot what the point was that i was going to make.