I lost my closest friend exactlyone week before Christmas, 2010. We got into an arguement.First he told me, seeing I was bothered, that I cantell him what's wrong. That he would be there to support me. See, I usually keep problems to myself. Well somehow he convinced me to tell him. That was the begining of the end. Well I never have been good at dealing with problems. One of the things I did, the only reason I bring it up is I think that's what got him mad, is I cut myself….. He is the only person I have ever told about that. And, I understand himbeing upset. If my friend was cutting himself i'd be upset too. But I don't understand how being mad at them is supposed to make them stop hurting. So he didn't talk to me after that for weeks… Which made me do other badthings to calm my stress. I went so downhill… Well, a few weeks later I decided I was finally going to pick myself up and stop being sad all the time. I tackled my problems one at a time. I stopped my addictions, made more friends so I didn't think much about Ernie (my old friend). It was great. I finally felt like me again.Most of all I felt wanted. Well, just a couple nights ago Ernie started talking to me again. We were friends again and I was so incredably happy. Then when I told him I made more friends, he flipped out, got mad, and said I replaced him We had a huge fight and he left, i'm sure it will be forever this time… So now after all I did to be happy i'm depressed again. I can hardly sleep 5 or 6 hours.I guess I have alot of problems, but without a doubt the one that affects me the most, is the fact that I just can't move on. A friend of mine said over time I will forget about him, but I don't believe that. What if I get better again, then he finds me, and stirrs up emotions again? I've been feeling so empty. He just left me, like all our friendship was meaningless, it was so easy for him to walk away. Anyway there's more than that, but i've wrote enough. If anyone responds i'd appreciate it. I don't expect anyone to, I guess I really just needed to write this. It gave me a chance to think things out, and it made me feel a bit better.