I followed you around to wait for the helecopter, mama, to arrive and get you, I never left until you were in the air….. I took care of everything…… I drove to the hospital once again, an 1hr and a half away. I was escored to security and let through, it was so frighting as there were men lined up every so often pointing the way, the last man wouldn't look at me, i was scared, my heart sunk, i thought you were dead, then…… there it was in the middle of chaos…I heard your voice, I walked up to you and bent down and kissed you with a tear drop on your cheek, i smiled and I never left your side. I was so loud and hetic and i was saying did I make the right decision and it was like God spoke, I heard a voice say yes you did everything right, he's so lucky. You were oncest again admitted. I stayed for awhile then went back home after calling everyone and updating them on your statis, you were in alot of pain, headache, it was a brainbleed. This wasone time out of many I was there for you, how could you, how could you leave me, how could i have saved your life and you walked away without a word, left me in the Mts., with no car, no job, no money , no food, no wood to stay warm, when your dad died I stepped up and took care of all of you…. I lost evrything because I saved your life, my home all of my belongings, car,sanity, hope, life all you left me with is the air I inhale and exhale. Your with someone new you 3 mo's after you left me, someone way younger than us both, will she be there like I was? Will you use her and destroy her like you did me and your x before me? I don't no how to let go of what damage you have done to me, my daughter, son, my family, my mom, you destroyed my mom, hurt her life, I was dumped on her by you. I just want this to end, the fantasys in my head to go away, I want to be rid of you, to move past you, I long for the end of my life everyday because of you, you are a murder of everything good and descent, of love and life.The last and only words you said to me the night you came to pick up your things still torture me constantly.