Okay so I know I'm probably getting old already (3 blogs in 1 day?) honestly, I'll probably post at least one more.. maybe two. I'm trying to get out my stupid feelings now so I won't have to feel them later.. Skipped out on dinner tonight.. I just can't imagine eating with how I'm feeling. Nothing would have a taste anyways, so there would have been no point. I can't imagine it would have been worth it anyways.. I want to talk to my boyfriend, but I think he's busy. I texted him and we talked for a few minutes, not long though.. we used to talk a lot. Every day.. ._. and now we mainly just say goodnight to each other. I can only see him once every other week.. tops.. and it's really hurting me. Guys hit on me at school and it disgusts me.. I can't imagine caring for any of them.. of course, I could hardly force myself to care about my boyfriend for a while. Me and my inability to care.. ._. I hardly even care about myself, and it takes convincing to make myself care about anyone else. Although once I do care, it takes a lot of convincing to get me to STOP caring… Something everyone seems to want to do once they've known me for a while. I hate how most people only talk to me when it is convienent for them. That might actually be why I don't talk to people much.. because I don't want to talk to someone and not even mean to.. but only talk to them when I need something. I want to make actual friends, but I've never been really great at that /: I wish I was perfect.. I wish I weighed less and was prettier.. I wish I was just an easier person to be around.. but I guess all that stupid stuff takes time and if I wanna be better I have to make it happen.. and all those other stupid cliches that never really help. Ah well, at least soon.. I can go to sleep.