You know when your trapped and theres no way left you can even explain or express how you feel at all because it's so beyond words. Everything people do or say, theyre shoving the cork in even deeper. I feel trapped in a pressurised bottle, unable to get out and people say all the wrong things and do all the wrongs things and treat me completely wrong because they're completely blind to what i am. People are stupid. They think they can make some sort of answer out of what they see without even fking asking me, which if they did they would all realise they couldn't be further from the truth each time. Which doesn't matter to them anyway because they don't care, but they might have really cared if theymade an effort and liked mejust asked rather than assumed and could have had a friend, but they don't want that do they, not with a freak like me who can barely scrape myself along the ground of basic communication (i can't even do that). It's sad that you know all along from age 3 that you would be better off not existing, you can see your future and it's true and you can't escape. people can't see thats i'm mentally disabled, that's what it is, it's a disabillity and would i sit in sht if if instead of trying and failing, i succeeded, but i never could. I can't bond, form relationships, keep relationships. I've hated life all my life. i hate the whole idea of life on every level, god creating animals is cruelty to animals. God creating life is cruel. While others get a build up of happiness and love, i get a build up of hate. Just let me go. what is my future? a suicide bomber or something?