Today is turning out to be a pretty hard day for me and my family. My son and husband are fighting like cats and dogs! My son actually called my husband a b*tch this morning! I don't think he knows what it means really, it just rhymed with what his father said to him, that he's a snitch. I reprimanded Zach and told him he was not allowed to say that word ever again. He apologized to me but not his Dad. Aaron is so angry with him that he can't see straight.
Because of the way my husband handles our son these altercations happen way too often. With me Zach gives me lip sometimes but never the way he does Aaron. Aaron sometimes makes fun of Zach when he does something bad or "diva"-like as Aaron calls it. Zach has an issue with things being done in a certain way because of the Asperger's, and Aaron just doesn't get that it's not being done to make him mad, it's just how the illness affects Zach. I try to accommodate most of those little quirks and Aaron gets angry and blows them all out of proportion. I wish I could get him to see that.
I don't think we're going to have our play date today, the weather is still pretty icky. I'm not sure yet though ~ I have to talk to Mindy. It's not raining, it just looks dreary and gray. Maybe if I give Aaron some breathing room by taking Zach up to the park things might settle down between the 2 of them. I'm not sure though. This fight has been brewing for a couple of weeks. Zach has this sense of entitlement (part of the Asperger's) and thinks he's equal to adults. It's not something that I can change, and it doesn't help that he doesn't have any siblings to deal with, just adults in this household. That's why these play dates are so important to me with the kids.
I'm tired today and a little cranky. I slept till 9:30 and I'm still tired. I was late taking my Ritalin and now I might have the same problem as last night ~ not being able to get to sleep until midnight again. I can always take my 2nd dose a little early though.
I wish things were easier between Aaron and Zachary. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking to see them at odds most of the time. And what can I say to my husband? The reason Zach doesn't respect him is because he bullies him and picks on him. Zach doesn't realize that most of the time his Dad is just playing with him and gets defensive and starts mouthing off, like this morning.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Any thoughts would be appreciated!
As Eric said family activities might be fun. I think time apart helps sometimes too, not apart, like different houses, but different rooms helps to get peace and quiet.
Can I ask why your son called him a snitch in the first place?
TheRut ~ my husband was calling him a Diva because he has to have everything has to be a certain way for him or else he gets upset. It's wrong and I often intervene, but I don't know what else to do to prevent this. My husband had an awful childhood with a very demeaning stepfather who demanded constant authority over him and Aaron did what he was told. Little by little he's letting go of this ~ but I think he's angry inside because he expects the same of Zachary. He's a control freak about a lot of things. This does not excuse his behavior, merely lights why he is the way he is about things. Thanks for the comment and I agree with both you and Eric ~ activities between the 3 of us outdoors would probably help things SO much. I'll try to do more of that.
Eric ~ my son does the same thing with the never-ending stories that he has to start over if he gets interrupted. And he gets SO mad when he does get interrupted! It's nice to know that I have someone else to talk to who's in the same boat. It can be really trying but I adore my son to pieces no matter what. I think it's completely unfair of Aaron to get mean with Zachary for something he can't help doing. And calling him a snitch or a diva is not the way to handle things. Zach was telling me that Daddy was reading my blogs, which I had said that I didn't like. That's one of the other problems ~ Zachary has a very strong sense of right vs. wrong and won't hesitate to "tell" on people to us or his teachers. He is rigid about rules in the classroom, but won't listen to them at home. I don't know how to fix it. Thanks for the ideas though, I really appreciate it.