Hey.. im new to this site. I had no other choice than to come here. There is no one to talk to, i don't want people to know im feeling down again. I just recently lowered my dosage of zoloft because i was feeling better and i wanted to go off, i wanted to be.. normal. Now that im on a lower dosage i dont want to admit to myself that im feeling pretty down again. I dont want to admit it, but i guess i kind of have since im here writing this. I just wish I didn't feel this way, i dont want to take pills anymore and i dont want to tell anyone im feeling down again because they will be concerned and put me back on a higher dosage, and i dont want that. I dont want anyone to worry about me.. i want to be happy naturally. why cant i be happy? I just dont get it, why me? I just feel so hopeless. I wish i can tell my boyfriend how i feel right now but i dont want him to worry or maybe not want to be with me, who wants to be with someone whos unhappy? Right now he is out with his friends… i wish i can be out with friends, but i have none. Hes all i really got besides my family, hes all the company i really enjoy. It makes me sad, it makes me jealous. Jealous of my boyfriend, how he can have really good friends and be with them without being anxious,just being himself and have fun. Im jealous that he would be fine without me probably, because im not all he has. But for me.. id have no one. I love him so much and i know he loves me but just everything scares me. Im not dependant on him, i make sure of that but ya. Thats whats going on right now. I just need someone to talk to.
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Depression is a chemical inbalance in our brains. You can be happy when manageing it. I woudl be miserable without my meds, and woudl never think of going off them. I wish you luck.