\..First of all..& with all due respect..pls..no "mommy" lectures..I get enuf of those in real-life..I went off meds several weeks to a month ago as I detailed in some recent blogs..I’m feeling it..badly..& alot quicker & more profoundly than I was thinking it would happen..I’m lethargic ..unmotivated ..directionless..I’m being told 2 speak up ‘on the phone..I’m grouchy & irritable..little noises & things are setting me off..& for anyone thats noticed its taken almost 8 f*cking tries to post 1 little blog here because my OCD is so into the red now *sorry if its been annoying y’all*..I’ve lost whatever "fire in the belly" which was prodding me to get back into the professional workforce & back to a place where I could be proud & feel like I was doing something substantive with my life again..its weird insomuch as I’m really not even that upset about all the "leads" dangling out & about now that aren’t materializing..which I could rationalize is because of the bad economy..even though I know full well its because of the nice long gab in the experience block of my resume..I’ve done alot of really cool things in my career..however I’m finding out in no uncertain terms they are more concerned with "what have you done for us LATELY"..I’m starting to think maybe the only way in which I’ll be able to return to my field is if I’m my own boss & I begin a business of my own..which I would love..however the thing I’d love 2 do isn’t something u could start in a garage & would take several $$millions of initial startup capital just 2 get even remotely operational..maybe some kind of stairstep plan would work..I dunno..I’m just not firing on all my cylinders now so am probably not in a position to be making bigtime decisions..\
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Oh man, that sucks. Don’t you ever wonder how much easier it would be to do what you love, without OCD. I guess everyone has life obstacles, but C’mon! Cut us break. Actually, you’ll be pleased to hear that I sort of did get a break. The school shortened my schedule. Apparently, my vice principal hadn’t been relaying the seriousness of my case to my head principal. Which really angers me, considering how many times I’ve cried and pleaded for mercy in his office. My doctor wrote a note to the head, describing how rudely Mr. J., had treated me. That got things sorted out fast. I applied for my first job yesterday, I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Keep me updated on your condition. I’m always willing to lend an ear.
I am agreeing with Dianna — the thought of meds for the rest of my life just to function somewhat normally gives me many emotions, anger, fear, and sadness. But at least I have them. Don’t make any decisions when you are in such a high anxiety state. It won’t last forever, but the decision might. Take care my friend and if you need to talk…….