My history with anxiety, fears and pure o. Starting back at the age of 5 my kindergarten teacher even told my mom that I would be on prozac by the age of ten if I stayed that way……guess what? I did but I'm not on prozac. Let me give you a somewhat-kinda brief-yet still excruciatingly long-story. When I was 5 I was deathly scared of weather change then when it was time for kindergarten things got worse. I had to have my teacher call my parents EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. during school so they knew I was there and that they wouldn't forget me. Next came another fear. I am the baby in my family so I was constantly worrying I was going to be alone one day…..I remember crying to my sister about this and her being dumbfounded that I would be so upset about something like that. Then I went through a guilt phase. I played with matches with my cousin one day and couldn't quit worrying about it so I cried and cried until I told. Then the guilt got a little worse. If I said something that I thought was a lie, id have to say the truth to myself in my head. If I had two apples and I had to give one to my sister and I were to find a a spot on one, I would take the other but then I couldn't do it I'd have to give her the other one or something might happen….a repercussion of sorts. Then my dad was diagnosed with cancer and my great grandpa, whom I barely knew, died. So my next feat, my 2nd worse fear, was that I was dying. I was a mild hypochondriac. I went to get physicals and checkups and even had my mom call doctors if i felt a little pain anywhere. A majority of my pain was in my ribs and legs….they were all growing pains because im freaking 5'10. I couldnt even watch ANY medical shows involvimg diseases snd cancers. I still sometimes refuse to watch some things such as Contagion. Nope i would definitely go back to my old ways. I spent all of my wonderful summer either researching illnesses I thought I had or crying because I thought I was dying. I now have a new fear and theme that many of you probably aren't familiar with. Well that's about it.
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