If I did not experience Ocd i could have done better in school or had better relationships.. I do not mind being called weird, because I am, but I do not find my ocd appealing just as much as the others may have thought.. if they noticed. there was this event one of the days, we had no class so everyone was enjoying and party like, and there i am, got all things in locker and checked on them in my desk, like rewriting something a bit, ripping out pages that doesnt seem right, getting angry to the little notes or papers i slipped in, etc.. similar kind of thing also happened in some after school hours, everyone went home and im still there, 'making things right in my locker because i cant go down stairs without it finishing. in class i get disturbed when i write,i tracing the words i wrote, checking my notebook, making sure i put my things in the right place, which irritates me badly if i did not. i also find doing some of my bad habits such as clearing my throat, nail biting, i bite it till the corner becomes neat, not caring if it bled, and this would hurt so much days after. recently ive been doing my compulsions mindlessly, or like a habit, i cant list all.. . Some people told me to 'get busy with other things', but everytime i get the certain thing done, Ocd comes back. i always feel the stress building up, thus i cant concentrate well on either studies or social activity, or enjoying by myself. The organizing, checking, alligning, anxiety, cleaning, undoing, habits and other rituals takes over my mind and stuff.. im also starting to have weird dreams because inside my head is like scrambled. I just noticed that writing the things i do makes me realize how stupid it is, maybe this could help.. Now, im trying to find some cure, mostly on internet because i have no one to speak to in actual.. I hope i'll find that way, and i really wish i would become fine sooner..