I find myself wondering what is wrong with me once again. I know I have my issues, but what baffles me is my ability to attract broken women like a magnet. No matter how I meet them, what we bond over, or the type of relationship the women in my life seem to be somehow toxic and unhealthy for me. Women I have loved, women I am friends with, and women I was raised with; the ones I end up becoming closest to are the ones that carry the most pain, and that pain ends up on me as well. Being there for them, listening to their hurt, and wanting so much to help them I end up feeling helpless, lost, and useless. Is it something about me that draws these lost souls to me, or am I somehow subconsciously searching them out? I don't know how I can ever be in a healthy relationship when it seems like every woman I ever meet is toxic or unable to be in a stable, sane, supportive relationship. And worse than not being able to help them is having to watch as some of them self destruct further through drugs, abusive relationships, or self harm. These things weigh on me, and I feel myself being dragged down along with them. I want to help them and be there for them, but I fear if I continue I will lose myself in the process. And if they need me and I am not there, how will I live with myself after? So many of them have lost faith in men; been mistreated, abused, victimized, or tossed aside. I try to build them back up, try to show them that not all men are alike. I try, and sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I am able to help her heal, and I get to see her face the world again with strength and optimism. Even then I feel a sadness, because in doing so I gave her the strength to leave me behind. I am soon forgotten and alone until the next poor soul finds me, or I find her…
Related Articles
-
-
How do you cope after 5 years?
queenautumna, , OCD, Anxiety, Child, Grief, OCD, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 0
My best friend and I just discovered that we both share yet another crazy thing in common, and it...
-
My fact got on “OMG FACTS” -yay for weird allergies!
Misconceptions, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, 0
So I posted up this fact: http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/26437 Almost 300 people have viewed it, which makes me glad. The reason...
-
Saddest Moment Of My Life
stoneymahoney, , OCD, OCD, Relationships, 7
I went back to the flat I shared with my OCD/BDD fiance today to collect all my stuff. As...
-
A Good Guy
weasel232k, , OCD, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Eating Disorder, OCD, Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Suicide, 3
EDIT: He left me. Not because I'm OCD. Not for anything. I don't understand it. He woke up one...
-
Scared Stiff
hekla2002, , OCD, Anxiety, Child, OCD, Sex Therapy, Therapist, Therapy, 4
I feel scared today. Scared as hell. I feel like running and hiding under a blanket and screaming and...
-
S. O. S. – Save Me
kit_pelican, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, Questions, Suicide, 3
Hello all. I need someone to help me, someone to talk to the most, but also to mentor me...
-
My Little OCD Person
hekla2002, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, Sleep Disorders, 0
Lately, I have taken it upon myself to use every part of my spirit, soul, strength, whatever you might...
0 Comments