hey, its been a good four months since ive blogged or posted anything. My excuse.. works been kind of crazy and Ive extended my social circle alot so Ive just been busy. I just wanted to blog tonight as I'mina kind of stupid place mentally and it helps to talk, well type to you all and just let off some steam. Up until november I'd taken all my meds perfectly. never missing any, taking them at the same time everyday, my viral load and cd4 count were heading in the right direction, But late one night after a talk with my mum I had a mini break down, I wanted to tell family about my situation and my mum was kind of against the idea. I dont like taking my tablets. during the day i forget about my hiv and never really give it much thought but taking my tablets just makes upsets me because it reminds me, Im thankful for where i am health wise, i just dont know if im dealing with it or just trying to push it to tha back of my mind. anyway, after the talk i got upset and flushed all my meds down the toilet, i had three months worth, I knew straight away it was the wrong thing to do but i felt so stupid and left it a long three weeks before i went and saw my doctor, explained all and got new meds. my latest results came back last week and my cd4 count has gone from 260 to 360, but my viral load went from undectable up to 174. i was told this was either becuase of the break in my med taking and my viral load will come back down, or it might be due to resistance. i need to go back end of this month for bloods again and results, im praying that its just because my viral load needs to reduce. ive been feeling ok health wise, ive had some bad head aches and a bit of a dodgie stomach though. has anyone else experienced this kind of thing?