Well, I am still alive and kicking. My suicidal thoughts and my depression have been at bay for months now. My regrets of my life are on hold. Sunshine warms my soul again. Yet as I sit here in my office, I am feeling anxious and sad. I have been divorced for three years now and am happy with that decision. I am living with a beautiful woman who loves me to death. I have told her countless times that I am never getting married as well I tell her I am going to break her heart. She knows that I will be leaving her soon so I can start a new life somewhere else. I have been completely honest of my intentions from day one with her. I have been trying to get to Florida for years, or at least somewhere warmer than here in PA. Lately I have been on dating sites searching to find a woman who lives in warmer climates, in hopes that we would become friends and I would have a place to live and could move in with her, whoever her may be. Pretty bad I know, but I have. I can get a job anywhere I choose in the car business, so finding work is not an issue. Being broke from my divorce and not having the resorces to just move is an issue. I have nothing in my mind holding me back. My daughters are old enough that they are pretty independent, plus they have a home with their mother. My ex home of 20 years to be exact. I talked online to a couple women in other states, but have not been able to quite find a connection that would make sense. Am I using this potential woman I find for just a place to live? Maybe, but I have a romantic side in me that says that it would be great to find a woman who I connect with and that I can be myself with and live the rest of my life with in peace. Who knows. I have only 7 more child support payments then I owe nobody anything, which puts me basically in a position to do what I want and go where I want. How easy such a decision it is for alot of people to just pick up and move with only the clothes on their back. For me I wish it was that easy. I am just so ready to go and live a more adventurous life in a new place. I just wish I knew what my next step is going to be. God only knows!!!