Hi,
I have been feeling disappointed, bored, down, tired and blue for the past 5 to 6 months. I cant seem to do anything! I cant study properly, I cant work properly, I cant have fun with my boyfriend, friends or family. I am always sad, always upset, always nervous and stressed. Im also always on edge, as soon as someone does something minor that upsets me, I break down and cry like its the end of the world. I cry every single day before I sleep, and by cry I dont mean just a few tears, no, I cry a lot, I sob like a baby.. and I dont know why. Everything I've accomplished so far in my life seems pointless… me getting out of bed in the morning seems pointless. Sometimes I wish I would just never wake up ! I am always fighting with my boyfriend, my family, I am always disappointed at everything they do ..
The main thing that I feel led me to all this was the fact that my parents shielded me my whole life. I was raised very happy, optomestic, hopeful. I used to believe everyone was nice and sweet and good to everyone. That life was a fun journey that will be ful of wonderful surprises.. That life consists of stages and I should enjoy every stage and have fun with everything. Everything used to make me happy, food, music, friends, a nice movie, just simply having nice weather used to make me smile. I dont enjoy anything anymore. I keep getting shocked of how different the world turned out to be, of how people are not who i expected them to be, of how much sadness there is everywhere !!! It was just shock after shock after shock till I reached this point that I am at right now. I lost hope in everything.. i dont feel joy anymore.. food doesnt taste good, I only eat junk over and over just to convinve myself that im enjoying something.
I cant concentrate on school work, I cant get through a single page of material. I cant sit and write an essay for more than 15 minutes.. I cant get ANYTHING done.
I cant sleep untill 5 or 6 am no matter how tired i am.. and i cant wake up before 4 pm everyday !! my whole day is gone for nothing !! The whole time im sleeping, I am tossing and turning and suddenly waking up and always dreaming of bad things !!
What sucks the most is that no one takes me seriously, my boyfriend thinks i am spoiled and i have everything i need and i should count my blessings and stop complaining. Everytime i tell my mother this she says that she spoiled me too much and i need to appreciate everything life has to give instead of whine and complain. My friends think its relationship problems and thats it ! Everytime they see me sad they add on to it.. they make me feel stupid for even having these feelings.. and they dont understand anything i say to them.. they think its silly girl problems that dont matter and im just having a bad day !!
I have no one to talk to .. no one to stay up with me at night when i cant sleep.. no one to make the day easier.. i dont know who to turn to or where to go ..
I wanna feel better i really do but i dont know how.. i wanna appreciate everything, i want to look at life positivly but i cant.. nothing makes sense anymore ..
where do i go .. when everyone whose close to me doesnt get me ? who do i turn to ?
Hey welcome to DT! I'm pretty much a newbie here myself but after my short time here I've noticed that there are many other people that are going through almost identical problems as the ones I'm faced with.
Sometimes I feel like I don't really have to write anything down, I could just read what so many other people on here have written and it would almost be the same as writing it myself!
The best part about it is that even though the problems are uncannily similar, the methods of dealing with it are different. You never know, by reading through some of these blogs you might just find somebody that's in a similar situation as you and could be approaching it from a perspective that might shed some light on what you're going through.
I sincerely hope that you find some answers here and if nothing else, this place provides a nice reprieve from negative thoughts for a while.
I may not really know how hard it is for you, but i can say i understand some points of how youre feeling because ive been through the same too.
If you find yourself thinking too much about pain or something that hurts you, think slower. It helps you to reselect your thoughts. And if it doesnt help, think s-l-o-w-e-r, as slow as you might need untill your mind is in your grasp, so you can choose better thoughts. Breathe deeply if it helps.
It works for me though.