Hey guys, guess who it is???? IT'S ME, ANGRY_ATHEIST, AND I'M MAD AS HELL!!!!

Okay, I'll try to keep this short because it's been a while since the last time I've been on this site, so let me explain everything that's happened in a nutshell. Basically, my OCD got so bad that I had to be hospitalized. First I went to the psych ward at the hospital in my own city, but the doctors and nurses there were horrible!!!!! My parents had explained to them that I had OCD (I would later also be diagnosed with Tourette's at the next hospital), but they just thought I had a mood disorder and put me on a mood stabililzer drug called "Epival". This drug made me so depressed that I couldn't enjoy doing even my favorite things andI evenbecame suicidal. And the psychiatrist I had at that hospital was a [email protected]#$CH! When I told her that the way I was behaving was not my fault, she told me it WAS my fault, that I was being selfish, and that I was holding my family hostage!!! Yeah…….So, my parents and I decided to switch me to another hospital where I eventually got better after about a week. They FINALLY got me on the right combination of meds(This was in Augustof 2013)…Unfortunately now, some of those meds have stopped working and it looks like I'm probably going to have to go on a new "Add-on" medication. Ugh. I really don't want to do this, knowing the way I've responded to going on and off drugs in the past. But I have to "Move forward with my life". Ugh. I have been through a rough year this year and I am hoping that next year will be better. In the meantime, I have been steaming mad and angry about everything, and feel like I need to vent my feelings. At the risk of sounding like a horrible person (which I am!), I will tellyou guys the truth…I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!!!! Okay, there I said it! Maybe the problem is that I don't care about myself either. I don't know if this has anything to do with my OCD/Tourette's, and I am still trying to figure things out…

Well, I guess I'll go to bed now and wallow in self pity. Goodnight everyone.

1 Comment
  1. Ablee 7 years ago

    Unfortunately its not uncommon to be misdiagnosed or have some nasty medical professionals.  Thats why its so great your parents are involved kind of like advocates when you see that its not right.  When i was a teen i suffered anorexia and moved in with my aunt and uncle who had absolutely no interest in helping me ended up putting me in the hospital until i could be placed in a group home.  I received no help, no meds and only stupid comment by one nurse who kind of reminds me of what your saying in your post.  So don't fret, so what you don't care right now that happens when someone is battling problems you go through a whole array of feelings it can change today you may feel different.   Med changes and trying things sometimes sucks i got real sick recently with meds and then i blamed myself for trying the high dose the doc recommended when i know i am sensitive to meds.  However my daughter told me "you had to try" and guess what i did even though i ended up in urgent care but i think it will be ok now i know my limits.  You just keep trying and you find support and people with ocd/tourettes, i watched a documentary on tourettes not long ago people that have it, how they cope with it etc i don't remember the name of the documentary though.  You and your parents push for your best care and a doctor that fully treats this and specializes in area of ocd and tourettes.   And just forget about the nasty people at the first hospital because they obviously are ignorant in this area and its' probably their personality type anyways. 

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