So my fiance is not going to get paid back for the half of his S.S.I. that they took by mistake. This month has been EXTREMELY stressful. I'm constantly wanting financial stability and feel like right when we get it some small hiccup falls into our laps. The way our income works we only have 200 dollars left after bills, and that's not including basic needs like diapers/baby wipes, tooth paste, deodarant, toilet paper, etc. So with such a tight budget any little financial hiccup screws us over for months to come. We had JUST enough money for Matt to make it to his ASVAB test for the National Guard and for me to go to class later today. Well that all changed when his sergeant had him fallow him to two cities over to go take the test at a different location. And after two hours of waiting to take the test the woman in charge apologized that they are having computer issues and cannot administer the test! So all of our gas was wasted for nothing. I'm in a program that requires me to do a certain amount of hours to continue recieveing assitance and now I can't go to school today or volunteer tomorrow…and it's the last days of the month so there's no way I'll be able to make it up. My fiance called and told me that he wasn't able to take the test and there was no gas left and as usually did not give me the chance to just soak that in and be angry for a bit. He is bipolar and is actually really good about compartmentalizing his stresses..sort of defense mechanism I guess. But I am not. If he had given me ten minutes to just be angry and stressed alone then it would have blown over..but no…instead he asks me mundane questions like…can I throw away these leftovers?…him bothering me while I' m angry just perpetuates the anger. And then he says things like "Normal people don't get stressed this much over things like this." NORMAL people? So is he implying I'm not "normal"? And who the fuck is normal anyways. The fact that he thinks it's okay to devalidate my feelings is frustrating and makes me want to cry. I came to blog about school and my infatuations in each class but this anger issue blew up in my face literally moments before I was about to blog. I feel so alone.

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