Hi! So let me get started here and introduce myself first before I ramble about part of my life (if you don’t mind). My pseudonym, since I don’t feel comfortable revealing my real name right now, is Anais Hax Jasper. I am a 16 year old pansexual NB (I identify as genderfluid, for those of you who do not know what that is I will explain later), I prefer the “they/them” pronouns but you can use “she/her” but I really don’t like “she/her”, and I have 3 siblings. Yes I am a catholic but I support LGBT+ and I also have depression, anxiety and ADHD. I like animals, music and I like to draw and make movies. It’s nice to meet you!

Now, about this “genderfluid” thing, it’s kind of like this: I really have no fixed gender, I do however have a sex and that sex is female. Sometimes I will feel like a boy, a girl, neither, both or all kind of genders. No I am not trans, no I don’t have both genitalia and yes I still can give birth to a human being. I’m pansexual, which means that I can fall in love with anyone regardless of gender. No this is not like bisexual, bisexual means you like BOTH girls AND boys (note the prefix bi- means 2). I was born with a cleft palate and lip, a facial deformity kind of thing (don’t worry I got surgery for it but I still need to take more surgeries), this caused me to be born legally blind (I can see but it’s just colors, dots, outlines and its blurry) until a few surgeries later and a pair of glasses. Now, about my cleft, my nose will randomly make squeaking sounds since I have the scars in my mouth… ANYWAYS..

I suffer from depression, anxiety and I also have ADHD. Yay, I’m a whole lot of mental! I don’t know when my depression started actually (but some of my family members have it so it’s in my DNA) but it just happened. Now, I’ve had anxiety for a while, I couldn’t even speak to those I wasn’t comfortable with and I was always quiet but not anymore. My ADHD causes me to have bad study habits, I can’t focus well, and I tend to get off topic a lot.

I like to play guitar, sing and draw and read and write. When I was about 10, my parents wanted me to take piano like my older sister, and me being the kid with no voice at all, I did it willingly. After a couple of years, let’s say about 4-5 years, I got bored of the piano and started to take up guitar. (I’m actually pretty good at it too!) And I guess, that’s all I have to say for today. Anais out!

1 Comment
  1. bridgie101 4 years ago

    Thanks for that intro! You sound like you have a lot of names for things we didn’t have names for when i was your age, and I wonder if naming things helps, or if it makes it worse. Sometimes I think it makes it worse.

    An animal in pain spends that time getting through that time, in pain. When he is out of pain, he’s ok. He bounds off and does his thing, living in the moment. We with our cerebral cortices and our names for our various problems take our past pains and our fear of future pain with us. I don’t always think this helps.

    I hope things get better for you. I did find leaving school, moving on as an adult started to ease some suffering but I had a lot of years of suffering and a lot of crying to do to get from childhood to adulthood, where I am now. And I’m still not always stable. it’s a rough ride but it’s worth it.

    Creation of art works I think helps. I think music helps too. something about it. 🙂

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