sorry long rant just so frustrated! just hadanother argumnent with the boyfriend at work! hes saying im getting really distant and that i seem to just wana spend less and less time together etc. which yeh i can admit i know im like that a little bit and i cant help it i really struggle with spending to much time with anyone! my work is very social andi live with my grandparents so they like to be very social with me so it all adds up and i struggle, having no time to myself just makes it really hard to control my emotions and urges so i need that down time so i can control and dont flip out on others or ending causing myself harm. anyways ive tried explaining this a few times now but he dosnt get it which i dont expect him to and i cant really see it from his side . he says he dosnt feel like i want to know him and im saying i do i just find it hard to find the time tht he needs! also we work in the same place so we see each other 7 days a week so when it come to weekends i dont want to spend from friday to monday morningwith him its to much, also his family are very close which is nice and his parents are ace but its a lot to spend all that time with them! and also by seeing each other daily it means n the evenings i dont want to be spending it texting on my phone because we have already had conversation at work and in the evenings ive never been one to just sit on my phone i like to read etc which is hard to do if your glued to the phone! i know i must sound like such a selfish person, and im trying not to be i just know from past times when i dont have time to just breath i end up then just shutting every one off or really casuing my self harm due to over whelming amount of emotions, i wish i could just spend loads of time with people and just be normal but for what ever reason that just dosnt work like that for me and i cant help it ive tried and it just dosnt work! i just dont know how to handle it any more. sorry long rant but i need to get it out i cant sit on it . i dont think ill ever understand realtionships mayby im not supose to have a partner! i dont know sorry just all over the place!