went to pick up my birth control today. before i went i brought up the topic of babies to my husband. i said "I'm ready when you are" and he said "you're not ready". I'm like how would you know its my body and its ready. He said "i'm not talking about your body" i said "then why don't you think I'm ready…..is it because of my mental illness?" He said yes. My world completely chattered. I said "i'm going to be an amazing mom, 4 proffesionals agree and they encourage me." I started to cry. He kept saying that im not ready and that the pros are not around me all day. I walked away and lay down in my room. He followed shortly after and tried to say that he wasn't ready and thats what he ment. I cried while saying "you blame my mental illness…… what do you think I'm going to put the baby in the oven!" He said no and agreed that i'm going to be a great mom. He said " it's nine months of carrying the baby, i don't want you to go through that off of your meds" i told him that i have a number to a clinic that specializes on pregnant women that take meds in a safe way as not to harm the baby. He's still skeptical. So i said "so what shall l do? have my uterus and ovaries removed so there is no way for us to get pregnant" He just held me while i cried and said "i just want to enjoy being married a long time before we have kids" then i said "then why would you bring up my mental illness? that was a low blow!" he kept trying to convince me that it wasn't what he said………………

whatever!